How to teach a child the right behavior in church and at home, without showing parental authoritarianism, but without dropping children's dignity? Respect is great, but it does not mean that we will let our child do whatever it wants, and we will not dare to say words across.

One Sheep Principle

According to Archpriest Alexander Avdyugin, “Orthodoxy is a good faith, amazing in its versatility. She sees exclusivity and uniqueness in every person. Why does the Lord follow one sheep? Because each sheep is a miracle, it is an exclusive.”

God's favorite sheep are not only us, but also our children. True, sometimes these unique sheep turn into stubborn, overly frisky, stupid lambs - for example, at the liturgy in the temple. But we can graze a little sheep, not by driving it into a cage, but by applying reasonable measures, restrictions and rules to it - and with gentleness and enviable constancy.

According to the teachings of the Church, each of us is "comfortable", and both for the better and for the worse, so it’s better to start sculpting your child as early as possible.

It is possible to show a small child church life in all its fullness and diversity, to make him a part of the Church, as well as to accustom him to correct and reasonable behavior, - says educational psychologist Svetlana Nazina. According to the experience of working with children, it is possible and necessary to introduce a child to church life from birth. Infants appear in the temple with their parents, and even then they begin to feel a favorable atmosphere, hear harmonious music, and admire the lights of candles.

When a child grows up and meaningfully crosses the threshold of the temple by the hand with mom or dad, a lot changes. And if in an adult the perception of faith goes from the inner to the outer, then in a child, on the contrary, from the outer to the inner. Many things we form ourselves, many things come from outside. In the temple, his own appearance, the appearance of his parents and worshipers, the special fine beauty surrounding him helps to clearly understand where he is, to realize that this place is God's house, where you need to bow your head in humility and conduct yourself with all seriousness.

“It is very important for a small parishioner attitude that tomorrow he will go to church. I remember that before going to the temple, my grandmother washed herself in the evening, collected clothes and things - this was an obligatory ritual in which I also participated - she helped. When going to the temple, you can open the church calendar together, see which saints are commemorated, be sure to pray together. Such preparation always disciplines, and discipline is important for a small child - it builds his life, helps him feel safe, ”says the psychologist and mother.

Good example

As for maintaining the discipline of behavior in kids, but not with a cane, but cultivating in them a reverent attitude to worship and all possible attention to its main elements, Archpriest Nikolai Chernyshev believes that this is possible subject to the good example of adults and, most importantly, their sincerity: “According to Dostoevsky, impressions, even if unconscious, received in early childhood, are not replaceable by anything, they do not disappear and have a strong influence on later life. How important it is that these are the impressions received from the baby's presence at the liturgy. And how much here depends on what kind of people he is surrounded by, whether he feels around him a real church family or a crowd of strangers, cold and indifferent!

You need to feel when the outer side of temple piety becomes small for a child.- kissing icons, a cross, staying in the temple in the arms of my mother. Do not miss the moment when it is time to move to another level of perception - read the first children's books about the Church, the children's Gospel, and discuss what they read together.

What happens if this is not done in time? The fact that both children from church families and Sunday school pupils are losing their childish perception and no longer have the proper reverence for Orthodox shrines, behave irreverently during the service - and sometimes this applies even to small altar servers. Children do not always realize where in life the line between play and reality is, and where in the temple there is the line between the visible and invisible world that they touch. This suggests that the inner side of faith - the Gospel, the person and example of Christ are not close or little known to them - they are not instilled from an early age or are implanted formally.

Praise for deeds

Svetlana Nazina emphasizes another important point: yes, in the perception of a child, a temple and a house, a street and a kindergarten should be different - places and communities that are completely different for him. But it is necessary to ensure that the behavioral aspects of his personality are equally adequately manifested everywhere. Simply put, the child should remain kind, obedient, sincere and attentive to other people both in Sunday school and outside the church.

“To do this, in practical classes at Sunday school, we simulate situations from ordinary life. The conclusions are the most unexpected. Everyone tries to be good, successful - in many respects this is facilitated by the modern program of preschool and junior school educational institutions, where the orientation towards success is promoted. But in such a “success at all costs” for a child lies a big spiritual catch. It turns out that we put children's egoism at the forefront, but in fact the baby does not represent what it claims to be. Therefore, the first thing we need to “turn on” is not modern pedagogy, but a true Christian principle: praise the child for actions, evaluate not him, but his deeds. But be sure to praise!

Here, for example, is a real case: in Sunday school, a boy answered well and earned the most stars, but no one was happy for him. This made him very upset. It turns out that his friends, quite church-going kids, just envied him and… remained silent like an adult.”

Vasya is near!

For a full-fledged Christian - church and everyday everyday life - it is important for the baby to learn as early as possible to understand other people and their problems. The psychologist gave an example of how peers did not help one boy at the right time in an Orthodox summer camp - not from evil, but simply did not understand, did not figure out that he needed help.

"Similar there is a gap in the mind of the child between real life and what he learns about God. The beggars and lepers from the Gospel evoke sympathy, but they are somewhere far away, and Vasya standing next to him does not ask for help - so why should he help?

To explain this, that is, for a more vivid perception of Christian truths by children, we need very wise and subtle, thoughtful methods of spiritual upbringing and religious education. And at home, for starters, ask the child to help - the benefits of his small actions are great, because they give him a lot of joy.

We would like to continue our brief reflection on this difficult topic with the words of abbot Arseny (Sokolov): “Growing up, a child cannot remain with childish faith for a long time. If he tries to keep her, there is a risk that he will become either infantile or a hypocrite. Children's faith is based on imitation of parents, on education; adult - on a personal choice. A child brought up in a church family one day faces this choice. If he does it right, then his faith will become mature, responsible.

Choice is, of course, always a risk. But the Creator respects the freedom of the individual so much that this choice gives everyone. On this path, parents and we ministers of the Church have no right to be insincere and boring. But there is a simple and safe rule: treat the child as your dearest and most beloved friend.

Valentina Kidenko

You want to teach your child to discipline, but do not know what method of education to use. Neither strict prohibitions nor permissiveness work for good. There are no absolute extremes. On the contrary, all educational processes are reduced to the golden mean. In order to derive ideal rules, it is necessary to take an interest in the views on the problems of education from several educational psychologists at once. Here's what we end up with.

Reducing time out

Time for calm and comfort is given to the child so that he can comprehend a difficult situation and come to his senses. Some parents abuse this excessively, focusing on the behavior of the baby (good or bad). Recently, in the camp of parents, it is customary to fall into the other extreme: not to talk to the child for a fault, avoid communication and ignore. We chastise our children by arranging whole demonstration lectures, insisting that they immediately stop crying or playing around. However, if you use this technique in a timely and correct manner, you can reap good dividends.

If you notice that your child is too emotional, throws objects around the room and gets angry, then he is tired. It's time to take a little break and relax. Children should be alone with themselves in proportion to their age: one minute for each year. It will be better if you begin to use such a measure not as a punishment for any violation. Isolation should not be taken as a disgrace. Psychologists believe that this technique works best on children from three to eight years old.

Punishment must match the offense

Punishments without warning, especially if they are excessively harsh, only cause indignation and indignation in children. In the end, you yourself will get confused in your requirements. The discipline is that the punishment should be commensurate with the offense.
For example, if your family has an unspoken rule that a toddler must call you after school is over and he breaks it, it makes sense to take the mobile device out of circulation for a while. But if you take away the phone for some other offense, this will not change the child's behavior and will not teach him anything. Psychologists warn: suffering is not a great stimulus. And random punishment only teaches children the fear of being caught.

Don't make too many rules

Always remember the simple truth: rules are made to be broken. Therefore, the fewer restrictions you set for your own child, the better. Numerous prohibitions only create temptations that are simply impossible not to succumb to. The catchphrase "Don't do this, otherwise it will be ..." just asks the kid to conduct an experiment and see what happens after all.
Therefore, limit yourself to a set of basic house rules and be sure to explain to your child why this is all necessary. Don't use empty threats. If you want to take a toy away from your child as a disciplinary measure, just do it without further ado. In the end, the child will understand what actions lead to such a result, and next time he will behave differently.

Highlight the positives

Some parents mistakenly believe that discipline is a punishment for bad behavior. In fact, it is designed to resist flaws. That is why it is much easier to cultivate good behavior in children than to fight bad behavior later.
Just imagine that your baby is good by definition. If you once again praise him for a well-executed assignment around the house, this will give him additional confidence in his own abilities. If in your educational lexicon the main word is “impossible”, the child will only feel irritation. In addition to praise, it is effective to introduce some benefits and rewards. So the child will see the return of his good deeds, as well as feel your gratitude.

Stop Worrying About Your Toddler's Bad Behavior in Public

It really is. For some reason, we are sure that those around us, in the event of the whims of our child, will think badly about our methods of education. Being with children in public, we are constantly afraid of this reaction. In fact, all these fears and worries are absolutely in vain.
If your parenting methods do not imply immediate conflict resolution, others will not think badly of you. For the most part, they don't care. Therefore, do not be afraid of the ghostly public condemnation and calmly follow the chosen course. Just abstract from the situation and imagine that you are not in public, but one on one with a child. In addition, you can always explain your position by unobtrusively taking the baby away from a crowded place.

Don't rush to take action

Despite the fact that your child is still very young, simple life situations can give him the first lessons that are truly priceless.
He sees how the neighbor's kid in the sandbox hit another kid on the head in order to take away the car. From the age of four, children can apply logic and think through the consequences of what happened. Let your little one be the judge for a while. Let him say whether it's good or bad to take from others children toys or beat them.

Do not Cry

It's so simple, but at the same time so difficult. Even if the child is constantly naughty, very excited and spilled milk on the floor again, do not give in to your own emotions. You must be patient. The problem is that babies do not perceive crying as an educational measure. They are only very afraid of these loud exclamations. At this point, the most primitive parts of the brain responsible for shame and anger are involved in children.
Therefore, they cannot hear your exhortations. With emotional children, as well as with teenagers, things are even more serious. If you could not restrain yourself and see that the baby blushed a lot as a result of your anger, it is better to leave the room and come to your senses. After everything, be sure to say that you regret what happened. Hug your baby and apologize.

What to do if the baby is naughty and screams in a store, bus, cafe?

Recently, my friend - the happy mother of 4-year-old Danilka - literally with tears in her eyes complained that she was ashamed to appear with her child in public places. He shames her always and everywhere: in the store he loudly demands to buy an expensive thing, and on the bus he shares his impressions with the whole salon like: “Do you remember how our dad was today ...?”. About whether it is possible to teach preschool children to behave correctly in public places and how to do it, said the Vladimir psychologist Natalia Feldman.

He just draws attention

- Natalya Borisovna, how to teach a child to behave properly in public places?

We need to define what RIGHT behavior is. From the point of view of parents, the child should be restrained, modest, should not interfere with other people, attract attention to himself, break the silence. On the one hand, this is correct, but, on the other hand, such behavior is convenient primarily for parents. Consider: What is the most fearful thing for a mother whose child starts running or crying in a public place? The negative reaction of the people around her to her, and not to the child: “Well, mother, she cannot raise a child!” It turns out that the bad behavior of the child is equated to the statement "I am a bad mother" (as an option - "bad father"). But in some situations, the child simply cannot sit still and be silent - these are the features of his psyche. Or the whims have other reasons. All cases when a child cries, makes noise, must be strictly differentiated.

- How?

As a rule, a child does nothing for no reason or out of harm. For example, often his behavior is a way to attract attention to himself. And then the question arises: for what purpose? Most likely, the answer is this: the child does not systematically receive attention as long as he behaves well. They just don't notice him. And as soon as it starts to make noise and act up, parents pay attention and begin to scold. And the child, in fact, it is important that there is attention. At the same time, he, as a rule, does not think: “I will now scream at the whole store, and my mother will pay attention to me,” this mechanism is largely unconscious. Thus, eliminating the cause is quite simple: pay more attention to the child than to a computer or phone.

But there is not always such an opportunity: mom has to do household chores in the evening, dad, perhaps, do work on the computer - he doesn’t have to play toys there ...

No need to follow the child all evening and show interest in any of his actions. He will let you know when attention is needed. The main thing is not to dismiss the child. You need to talk with the baby, communicate, read books ... A grown-up child of six or seven years old can come running and say to mom or dad: “Can I sit with you?”. He can climb on his knees, snuggle up, just sit silently for a while, and then run away to play again. He got his share of attention. For young children, such moments of close communication need more. How much is difficult to say, since this is an individual matter. The main thing is that high-quality communication allows the child to become more independent, learn to occupy himself.

There are now two extremes. One is a child-centric position, when the child is the center of the family, and his desires are always a priority. Another is the attitude towards children as to some otherworldly creatures or animals that need to be trained and educated. They are the same people, they just have less experience and their psyche and intellectual activity are arranged a little differently. Because they haven't grown up yet. But otherwise they do not differ from adults.

Both of the above positions lead to problems, so you need to stick to the golden mean. It is important to satisfy the child's basic need for love, security, companionship, and to explain to him that other family members may also have their own desires and concerns, which must be treated with respect.

One rule for all

But what if the parents pay enough attention to the child, but in the store he still starts to act up and demand ice cream, a toy? ..

If the whims are not due to a lack of attention, and the parents are one hundred percent sure of this, then in this case it is necessary to offer the child a choice. I must say: today we can only buy you this or this, choose for yourself what you want more.

- And if we can’t buy anything extra - we’re running out of money, we only came for bread and milk?

If parents have minimal money for milk and bread, then they can spend a trifle in the range of 20-50 rubles. There is always an opportunity to buy some cheese for 15 rubles. But you need to teach your child to the fact that it is not always possible to get what you want. Say: “I really want to buy that expensive cheese, I love it very much. But I can't afford it. We'll buy it for the holidays. And now there is not much money, so we will only buy this ... ”And the child, seeing that his mother makes exactly the same demands on herself as on him, will stop asking to buy something expensive for him. And there will be no reason for scandal and manipulation. It is very important here: if we are talking about the fact that money is not very good in the family, and we are forced to choose what we buy, then this rule works for everyone. Then the child feels like a participant in the process - he is considered.

Dealt with the shop. The next place where children often do not know how to behave is public transport. For some reason, they have a need to speak loudly, for the whole salon, and parents feel quite embarrassed, especially if the children begin to tell everyone around (in a conversation with their mother) the details of family life. As far as I can tell, you can't swear...

Sometimes adults start talking to the whole salon. It is better to discuss the rules of behavior in public places with a child not at a time when he behaves incorrectly, but those around him “help” educate him. It is better to discuss everything in a calm atmosphere in advance. Why scold if the child does not know that you can not scream on the bus? They just jumped and shouted merrily on the street, and this was possible, because they were in the park and no one interfered with anyone, and then they got into the transport, the child is still in a very cheerful mood, he has not yet calmed down and by inertia continues to talk loudly .. If at this moment he receives an irritated remark, then he does not understand what has happened. He does not know that there are other rules of behavior, so if you want the child to behave in accordance with some of your ideas about decency, discuss everything in advance and explain why this is necessary.

- What about behavior in catering establishments?

In children, it is inherent in the psyche that they cannot, like adults - for three hours or more - sit at the table. The reality is that children quickly get bored in cafes. Especially if they are preschool children. And for them, this is completely normal behavior. The child cannot sit still and listen to conversations for more than half an hour. He needs to move, play and communicate. So there are only two options: either you need to choose catering establishments where there is a corner for children, or leave the child at home - with a grandmother, relatives or a nanny.

- And to raise a child so that he sits and is silent?

For five year olds, this is unrealistic. And don't bully the kids.

But there are situations when it is necessary to sit. And sometimes more than an hour. Here, for example, in the queue at the hospital... And it's quiet, because there are a lot of children around, and they get sick...

If this is a preschool child, you need to take some kind of "entertainment" with you. It can be a book, a coloring book or a small toy - a doll that is put on the hand ... The main idea is that there is no escape from the queues, the child will get tired, but we understand that the child cannot sit still for a long time, he will be bored , and we think how to entertain him in all known ways. But the lesson should be quiet and sedentary. We do not take the ball to the hospital.

Natalya Feldman Photo: from the personal archive of N. Feldman

Help MK

What to play while waiting in line?

"Cracker" . Take a bunch of keys, ask the child to turn away and draw their outlines on a piece of paper. Then invite the child to pick up the key that matches the silhouette. You can use not only the keys, but everything that is in the purse.

"Researcher" . Grab a magnifying glass from home first. Let the kid find what you guess on the banknote, read the “secret inscriptions”.

"Words" . Let the kid name objects with a certain letter. Draw his attention to the objects that surround him. Then the task can be complicated by building chains of words. The last letter of the word serves as the first letter of the next (“cat-pedestal-bus ...”).

"Funny Fingers" . Take a ballpoint pen and draw funny faces on your fingertips, give them names, for example, Cheerful, Good-natured, Angry, Ryzhik ... Think of a fairy tale about them. You can also draw animals. Ready-made finger toys are also suitable.

"Dreamer" . Draw a circle on a piece of paper and draw new details in turn: nose, ears, freckles. It could very well be some fantastic beast.

"What's missing?". Lay out a few items in front of the baby, give time to memorize. Then, when the child turns away, remove one. The kid has to guess what is missing. Then change places.

"Favorite Heroes" . Every child has a favorite book or cartoon. Try to remember their heroes. Whoever names more wins. Children like this game because they win it, because they are "in their own territory."

You can also invite your child to figure out how to use familiar objects in unusual situations. For example, a scarf can be wrapped around the hand and get a mitten. A great paperclip slide will come out of a mobile phone. Thus, you will not only pass the time in line, but also develop the logic, imagination and attentiveness of the baby.

Discipline is a way to teach a child proper behavior, not punishment. Suitable methods depend on the age of the child. Set some rules that the child will understand to teach him to discipline. Be consistent and offer rules that will help your child succeed. Praise your child for good deeds and encourage them to behave correctly.

Steps

Rules and consistency

Set house rules. A child of any age should clearly understand the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Set house rules to communicate your expectations to him. The child needs to know how not to behave and what the consequences of such behavior will be.

• Rules and consequences are determined by the age and level of maturity of the child. It is important for young children to understand that it is wrong to hit others, while for an older child it is necessary to know what time it is necessary to return home in the evening. Use a flexible approach that takes into account both the age of the child and the need for new boundaries.

1. Make a schedule. The routine helps the child to reveal their best qualities, to feel safe and confident in the future. If your child starts messing around at the same time every day or when he's tired, consider these aspects to suggest a suitable routine for him.

   • The morning and evening routine should be predictable so that the child clearly understands what awaits him every day.
   • If temporary changes are expected (a trip to the dentist or the arrival of relatives for a couple of days), then this should be reported in advance.
   • Some children can not easily change the type of activity. If the child needs time to adjust, then reflect this moment in the daily routine.

2. Determine the natural consequences for actions. Natural consequences will help the child understand the essence of cause and effect relationships and get used to being responsible for their actions. It is necessary to give the child free choice, which will determine the consequences. Explain to him what the final result depends on. So children will be able to make independent decisions and immediately understand the severity of the consequences.

3. Be consistent and constant. Many parents begin to make exceptions to the rules or get away with some wrongdoing. Children should understand the inevitability of consequences and the impossibility of evading. Show that you are not joking. Demand to follow the rules and remember the consequences for any misconduct.

   • Don't be surprised if the child has an excuse or can explain his behavior. In such a situation, you need to clearly state: “You broke the rule and you cannot escape responsibility.”
   • If you have multiple children (or multiple families living in the house), then it's important to be consistent with each child. Otherwise, they will feel unfair treatment.

4. Expectations must be realistic. Don't set the bar too high, or the child will feel pressured, and if too relaxed, the children will be self-willed or not able to reach their full potential. Every child develops differently, each with different strengths and weaknesses. If one of the children is older, then do not expect the younger ones to behave in the same way.

   • Find out what behavior is considered normal for the respective age group.

   The smallest

   1. Redirect children's attention. Little kids are capable of wreaking havoc in no time! If your toddler is trying to do something inappropriate or doesn't want to share with other kids, then keep him busy doing something else. Suggest another activity. Praise your child if he shows interest in him.

      • If a child engages in something dangerous to themselves or other children, deal with the threat immediately. Safety is paramount.

   2. Use warnings. Young children need to be constantly reminded of everything. You should warn the child if he was going to commit an inappropriate act or break the rules. Thanks to the warning, he will understand that the action will lead to consequences. Use phrases like “If…then…” to get him to understand the consequences.

      • For example, say, “You can't fight. If you beat your sister, you will go to the corner.”

   3. Put the child in a corner. This method allows the child to calm down and pull himself together. Does the child play around or does not listen to anyone? Put the baby in a corner so that he calms down and understands that this is not the way to behave.

      • Usually the number of minutes in the corner corresponds to the number of years the child has lived. You can also leave the child in the corner until he calms down.

   4. Use simple and short explanations. The child continues to build up his vocabulary, so do not use complex language. Speak to a young child in simple language and as short phrases as possible. Explain what the baby did wrong and why there will be specific consequences. Then tell them how to behave in the future.

      • For example, say, “You hit Anya, so get in the corner. You can't fight. If suddenly you are upset, then next time just call me.

   5. Provide a small selection. Young children love to feel in control of the situation - these are the first manifestations of independence. If the child indulges because he does not want to do something, then give him a choice. This will help limit your options and allow your child to control the next step.

      • For example, let your child choose a bedtime story or a T-shirt. If he does not want to wear sneakers, offer him to choose between green and red.
      • You can also offer to put on a sweater or go to a corner. Say: “Choose what you like best?”

   6. Suggest an alternative. Offer an example of correct behavior so as not to explain why the child is behaving incorrectly. The kid may not understand how to behave in such a situation, so offer an alternative.

      • For example, if a child is pulling on a cat's tail, say, "Let's pat him on the head."

   junior schoolchildren

   1. Apply logical consequences. At this age, in addition to natural consequences, logical responsibility can be added. The presence of a logical relationship between actions and consequences will help the child better understand the consequences of their actions.

      • So, if the child lied that he completed the assignment, give him additional instructions.

   2. Discuss the child's behavior. Younger students are already old enough to understand and be aware of their actions. Use this opportunity to teach your child empathy and explain why some actions are considered inappropriate or bad. So the child will begin to understand how his actions affect others and himself.

      • For example, students often lie to get attention or push boundaries. If the child deceived you, then explain that lying offends other people, and the child himself risks losing trust and even friends.

   3. Let your child choose their responsibilities. Students like to have a choice, because the choice allows you to control the situation and generates a desire to achieve the goal. If you can't get your child to do his chores (or homework), offer him a few options to choose from. In the case of homework, let him choose the order in which to do the lessons or what to do in certain periods of time.

      • When it comes to household chores, offer 6 options from which to choose 4.
      • Some parents give gifts or money if the child does more than is necessary. In this case, let the child earn a prize, and tasks can be chosen randomly using straws of different lengths. The more difficult the task, the more valuable the prize or more money!

   4. Help your child to succeed if he is acting carelessly or irresponsibly. Some children get into trouble because they don't do their chores or homework. Sometimes laziness is the cause, but try to create an environment in which the child will be comfortable to succeed. Notice your child's failures and offer support during difficult times.

      • If your child finds it difficult to do homework, help him figure it out.
      • If he is often late for the first lesson, offer a morning routine that gives the child enough time to get ready. Invite the children to prepare lunch for school and pack their backpacks from the evening.

   5. Praise your child when he behaves well. If the child successfully coped with the case, then you need to show that you are proud of his result! Praise and recognition mean a lot to any child. So he will understand that you have noticed his successes and feel proud. Usually it is important for a child to get the attention and approval of his parents, so do not deprive him of such emotions.

      • For example, say, “I know you didn't want to clean the room, but I'm proud that you did it yourself. Now you can go visit your friends.”

   Teenagers

   1. Invite your teen to define boundaries with you. Sometimes it is useful to get the opinion of children about what they consider reasonable and fair. It will be easier for a teenager to follow the rules if he takes responsibility for his behavior and the boundaries set. The last word should remain with the parents, but the opinion of the teenager should also be taken into account.

      • Say that you are ready to listen to reasonable criticism and suggestions regarding the rules. If your teen wants to change the rule, ask them to justify their request and suggest an alternative.

   2. Deprive a teenager of privileges. If a teenager misbehaves, deprive the child of some privileges, whether it is watching TV, a smartphone, or pocket money. The privilege must be earned anew by exemplary behavior.

      • For example, if a 13-year-old snaps, take their smartphone away for a day. If he continues to be rude to you tomorrow, then extend the time without a phone for another day. Tell him he can return the phone when he's good.

Instilling elementary norms of behavior with adults and peers in a child is not an easy task. When preparing for school, the kid must be able to serve himself, follow the rules of school etiquette. The inability to communicate, find a common language with peers sometimes becomes an obstacle, which is very difficult to bypass.

Parents want to see their child educated, responsive and friendly, because their baby is the best and most well-mannered. And often, due to their parental love, they turn a blind eye to many things, justifying the actions of their children, and convincing themselves that they are still small ...

The time comes and the former preschooler becomes a first grader. And if by this moment he does not have elementary norms and rules of ethical behavior, the child will have a hard time. Such unprepared children do not know how to say hello, apologize and ask about something, it is difficult for them to find a common language with classmates.

And if from childhood we teach the child the basics of etiquette, then in the future, he will grow up as a well-mannered and educated person.

Preparing for school is a long-term process, and how well-educated the child will grow, largely depends on his further successful education at school.

I bring to your attention games and game situations for teaching a child politeness and a culture of communication.

1. Play with your child a dialogue about the culture of behavior between people of different professions. For example: between a friendly seller and a buyer, a teacher and a student, a doctor and a patient, a driver and a passenger. Relations between family members can also be included in the game: between a friendly grandmother and grandson, brother and sister, etc. Discuss the proverb together: "Don't be picky, but be friendly."

2. The participants in the game take turns throwing the ball, naming polite words. The game can be made more difficult by offering to name, for example, only words of greeting, gratitude, etc. It is also possible that each player repeats the words spoken by other participants before him, and then calls his word.

3. Ask the child, using the norms of speech etiquette, to ask how to get to the zoo, swimming pool, metro, museum.

4. Suppose a child is often rude to adults, although you have repeatedly talked with him on this topic. Call one of the chairs in the apartment a “magic chair”, after sitting on which a person stops being rude. If the baby is still rude, ask him to sit in this chair a little longer, listen to himself and try not to be rude again.
You can choose several "magic chairs" and name them those qualities that the child lacks. If there are difficulties, defuse the situation by offering the baby to sit in a courtesy chair or a chair of good manners.

5. Such a creative task will be interesting and developing for the child. Ask him to draw with whom you can compare a well-mannered person. For example, with the sun, because every morning it greets everyone affectionately. This game task can be repeated a little later, when the son or daughter grows up. Compare the work of a child of different years. If the task seems difficult for the baby, do not be too lazy to draw your own drawing and tell us who educated people remind you of.

6. Learn the proverb with your child: "Modesty suits everyone." Consider this situation: what would a modest person do if they received the most incredible things as a gift - a rocket, an airplane, a beautiful car, a jewelry box, a magic castle, etc.

7. If the child is not distinguished by modesty, invent and make together a "decoration (beads, necklace) of modesty." These can be beads made from acorns or other natural materials, etc. (the kid will offer a lot of ideas). Explain that this is a magical piece of jewelry that teaches people modesty. Find a special place for him in the apartment, and if the child forgets about modesty, again offer to put it on and think.

8. Mom or dad explains the game situation: “There were polite words on the shelves in the store. Among them were words of gratitude (thank you, thank you, please); greetings (hello, good afternoon, good morning, good evening); apologies (sorry, sorry, sorry); farewell (goodbye, goodbye, good night). But suddenly a wind blew from the open door, all the words fell and got mixed up. We need to put them back on the shelves."
For the game, it is advisable to prepare cards with the indicated polite words.

9. Introduce the child to the proverb: “If you notice the good, you won’t look back at the bad.” Ask your son or daughter to close their eyes and remember all the good people in their lives; all the good things that ever happened to them; all the beautiful places they've ever been; deeds they can be proud of, etc.

Getting Ready for School - Tips for Parents