Not so often, at first glance, a paradoxical situation occurs when a man, on the one hand, does not want a serious relationship, but does not let the woman go either. (for example, he is married and is not going to get divorced. Maybe he is not married, but he simply does not want to develop relations. For example, he promises to get married someday, maybe in 10 years)

And it doesn't just let go. And it's not just that he doesn't want a serious relationship. He is also jealous of other men. He is jealous of her free time. He doesn't just let go. He endures the woman's tantrums about her not being in the best position. He buys her gifts. He tries to change for her, even if it is not easy for him. Sometimes he even wants a child from her. It is not uncommon for a woman to give birth to a child, and he lives in two families.

What is the reason for this behavior of a man? Why, on the one hand, he does not want a serious relationship, and on the other hand, he does not let the woman go.

It's actually a strange relationship phenomenon. But let's try to break it down. And as soon as we begin to approach it, we immediately see two different situations, although they are united by some common features.

First situation. A man in reality wants to break off his previous relationship, but this happens very slowly for him.

There are about 10 percent of such situations, not more.

Indeed, a man's marriage is falling apart. He really wants to create a new family and then creates. But the breakup of a marriage is sometimes a rather lengthy process and not everything is easy there.

A man and a woman in marriage are united by the past, where there were many truly joyful and good things. They often have children. Almost always joint property. They have common acquaintances and even relatives of the wife, who have practically become friends.

All this keeps a man and a woman together, even if the relationship between them has reached an impasse.

Therefore, the breakup of a marriage can last for years.

In addition, this process sometimes stops. Something happens, and the relationship is restored again. For example, they begin to live almost like strangers, in different rooms, each with their own budget and communicate only on the topics of children and paying for an apartment. After some time (not always of course) they realize that they are losing a lot, that they are dear to each other and the relationship is being restored.

After all, in fact, if a wife has at least half of the qualities that a man appreciates in a mistress, then the marriage will never fall apart.

But even if everything is bad, then, as I wrote above, the breakup of a family can last for years.

But in any case, it is almost always possible to distinguish a man whose family is falling apart from one who is looking for a mistress.

The marriage still breaks up on the rise (scandals develop into housing in different rooms, etc.) Material evidence quickly appears (a statement of claim for divorce, etc.)

The second most common situation. A man does not build a serious relationship, but he also does not let go of a woman, because it is so convenient for him.

Let's go through the remaining situations, which make up the vast majority of them.

The lover in them (or just the woman with whom the man lives) is not a potential wife. Even if the man continually claims otherwise. (More precisely, even the more he claims this, the more likely that he says, just to get off) A mistress is a pleasant addition to family life. For some men, due to their complexes, a mistress is a necessity.

And here it is not as important as in reality. Maybe he is appreciated and needed, but because of his complexes, he does not feel this. And if two women fight for a man, then some of them experience some kind of buzz. (not very clear to me)

Maybe he does not feel that his wife appreciates him as a man and he wants to show her that he is appreciated by other beautiful and young women. (In reality, a man who gets himself a permanent mistress, and even more so a child, almost always subconsciously “wants” to be caught, or at least his wife suspects him)

That is, a man in our situation is an egoist to the marrow of his bones. He, in fact, does not care about the interests of his mistress. It doesn't matter that she may lose the chance to get married normally, give birth to a child who will have a normal father, etc. He is usually interested in the fact that two women pull the rope for him (at least the mistress pulls). He just doesn't want a serious relationship.

Oh well, I'm all about men and men. Let's summarize them a little and move on to women.

The vast majority of situations when a man does not let go of a woman and does not develop relationships (it doesn’t matter if he is married or not, or the man just didn’t have a serious relationship before) is the complete egoism of a man combined with complexes, when he needs not just a woman’s love , and the struggle of several women for him, tug-of-war (at least mistresses), intrigue when he is “caught” or something else like that.

The fact that he gives gifts, suffers tantrums, changes his behavior, or even agrees to a child - this, in fact, does not change anything. If a man has a need (inferiority complex) for women to pull the rope between each other for him, then in order to satisfy his strongest egoistic need, he can make some decent sacrifices.

Well, what about a woman in this situation?

An ordinary woman who has at least average confidence in relation to men and does not have similar similar programs in her subconscious mind leaves a married or unmarried man who does not want to develop a relationship quite quickly.

A man says that he wants a divorce, which means tomorrow he is showing her a statement of claim in court for a divorce. (if it's necessary)

He says that his wife is already a stranger, so together we come to visit friends, parents, and he introduces her as a woman with whom he is going to start a family in the near future. (or even meet his wife, if they really are strangers)

If not, then the relationship quickly ends.

And so what does it mean "a man holds back, but does not want the development of relations"? Holding on with chains? Holds blackmail? Of course not.

Keeps with gifts, persuasion in the style of "Santa Barbara" and declarations of love, also in the style of the Mexican series.

It turns out that a woman with a certain type of psyche or parental programs is a necessary part of such a situation. She also realizes her, in fact, selfish desires to suffer. And do not think that this is such a rarity. Almost half of our population, to a greater or lesser extent, prefers to suffer, to blame everyone around, to think about and discuss some situations in which they are right (politics is acceptable) than to really try to do something and change (or in parallel with changes )

There is a certain pleasure in suffering, in being right, in being able to blame someone for your failures, which a person often exchanges for real achievements and success.

And yes, about what "He deceived me, but I could not guess that he had a wife."

This, of course, is again from the category of those cases when a woman wants to believe in something, and she does not take primitive steps to verify the truth.

For example, an unmarried man can easily stay overnight with a woman on weekends, on New Year's holidays, and in general on any suitable day. You can safely come home to an unmarried man. You can see his passport. You can come to work with him. You can communicate with his friends and relatives. With it, you can easily go abroad for a couple of weeks. You can usually check his phone without any problems.

And this is me very briefly. Therefore, I don’t believe about the stories that I talked with a man for a couple of years and sincerely didn’t know that there was a wife.

What to do?

- Understand your selfish long-term interests.

Do not think that you are for a man who does not want a serious relationship, the most important thing in life, or even an essential part of his life. Remember that you are just a small addition to his "Santa Barbara" in the family. Imagine for a start even the reverse situation. You got a lover for sex. For you, it is 3-5% of your life, where there is a husband, children, work, finances, girlfriends, relatives, etc. He thinks that he is the most important in your life, since he was given a couple of compliments.

It's the same here. For him, you are just a means of satisfying some tiny part of his complexes. It doesn't matter what he tells you.

That is, you are the satisfaction of a small part of the selfish interests of a man, some of his complexes.

— Clearly understand that the chances of a mistress becoming a wife are scanty.

Read the statistics. How many mistresses then become wives? Somewhere I read that 5 percent. In my opinion, a little more, probably 10 percent. But even these 10 percent fall on those women where, in men, the marriage really quickly breaks up and the growing signs of this decay are immediately visible, up to the filing of a divorce suit. All this happens within a few months. (If you've been dating for more than a year, then the chances are vanishingly small)

That is, the chances of changing the role are scanty. The trips to the wife of a man with scenes from Mexican TV shows do not help either. Usually such an arrival is followed by a grandiose scandal, but nothing changes for the mistress (even if the man was kicked out of the house, which is rare).

Do you need it?

— And vice versa. Breaking out of a relationship with a man, even without prospects, becomes more difficult over the years.

I hope this is obvious, but I repeat. There are examples when women were in the role of a mistress for five, ten and thirty years, that is, until old age. They could not jump out of their role. Because it gets harder and harder as the years go by.

It is easier to do everything while a few weeks or months have passed.

The reasons may be different. The most common is having a family.

The second most frequent is a man who is a complete egoist and it is so convenient for him.

The third is that a man understands that a woman, by her qualities, simply does not pull the role of a wife (and rarely makes mistakes).

It appears simply. Or the signs above show that the man is married. Or after about six months of meetings, you do not move on to living together. (it doesn't matter if marriage is registered or not)

The fact that a man does not let go of a woman does not speak of his love, but only that it is so convenient for him to live. After all, a loving man will think not only about himself, but also about the interests of his woman.

If a man does not want / cannot live together within a reasonable framework and then marry, then this relationship is doomed to failure. (I hope that you have already told him that you need to get married or you are breaking up). There is only one way out.

Don't bury your head in the sand. Soberly assess what kind of man you have, what kind of relationship you have with him, at what stage of the relationship you are, whether there is a prospect for the relationship. After that, make a decision and stick to it, despite any words of a man.

Sincerely, Rashid Kirranov.

Often women are faced with the fact that a man does not love them, and at the same time does not let go, forcing them to suffer again and again. In such a situation, it is important to understand the psychology of the stronger sex, because a partner can have many reasons for such selfishness.

A man does not let go: the reasons for a difficult situation

Why a man does not let go if he does not love is a difficult question, because the situation in each couple is essentially unique. Most often we are talking about the elementary instinct of the owner. The representative of the stronger sex is used to the fact that he has a faithful girlfriend, ready for many sacrifices for the sake of his attention. It is difficult for a man to refuse such a relationship, because he likes to feel his unemotional superiority over the one that is not able to resist feelings. What other reasons most often force the representative of the stronger sex to be next to the unloved?

The situation in which a man does not have deep feelings for his partner, but cannot let her go, is familiar to many women. Sometimes both partners get so entangled that they no longer understand why their relationship has developed this way.

Most often, it can be a simple habit or fear of being alone. In such cases, sooner or later a man will leave a lady who has stopped causing his heart to beat faster for the sake of new feelings and emotions.

The correct behavior of a woman if a man does not love her

The realization that the second half no longer experiences deep feelings comes to the woman gradually. Guesses and resentments merge together, and the harsh truth comes to the surface. In such situations, a woman can act as follows:

• try to restore relationships, resurrect the feelings of a lover for yourself;
• break all contacts and try to start a new relationship;
• show the same selfishness, and continue to build relationships without feelings for a partner.

Whichever option a woman chooses, the first thing she should do is talk to a man. An ordinary conversation sometimes helps to dot the i's and understand why such a controversial situation has arisen. Many men are afraid of frank conversations, but the topic must be raised until the partner talks about his emotions.

1. The duration of the relationship, because the longer the partners are together, the more difficult it is for them to part forever.
2. Depth of own feelings in relation to the man.
3. The presence or absence of a common company of friends, children and property.
4. The behavior of the partner and his current attitude towards the woman.

If a man does not let go of his partner, this does not mean at all that deep down he feels something for her. Many ladies have been entertaining themselves with empty hopes for several years, expecting that the situation is about to change. If a man does not have feelings, then it will be very difficult to develop them, and for this you will have to make a lot of effort. It is possible to work on such relationships where only one person loves, either in the presence of very deep feelings, or in the case of a long-term relationship and the presence of a third member in them - a child.

If a man shows aggression, raises his hand to a woman, cheats on her every day, being generous with insults, you don’t need to grab this relationship to the last. The sooner a woman begins to respect herself, the sooner this tragic story of not mutual love will come to an end.

Another situation that occurs everywhere is the need for a shake-up. Some men one day come to the conclusion that they are bored with stable and lasting relationships. However, as soon as the offended woman leaves their life, the representatives of the stronger sex understand what they have missed. Sometimes a breakup is the only thing that can help a situation.

Can a man love?

Lack of feelings is a natural phenomenon, because even the first beauty may encounter the fact that the chosen one is indifferent to her. In such a situation, only one question arises: can a man ever fall in love. Psychologists believe that in such a controversial situation, the likelihood of tender feelings is extremely small. If a man uses a woman for his own purposes, if he considers relationships as a habit, then one should not wait for inciting vivid feelings. Such a person will remain cold, no matter what.

However, if a man does not let go of a woman, but sometimes shows tenderness towards her, then there is still a chance to save the relationship. A woman can only make every effort to resolve the problem as soon as possible. She needs to constantly emphasize her external attractiveness, show care and tenderness towards a man, try to fill the joint pastime with pleasant memories. In this case, sincere feelings can eventually arise.

A situation in which a man does not let go, but at the same time does not love, is not uncommon. At the heart of such a personal tragedy lies the fact that in fighting for feelings for this partner, a woman may miss a sincere and fulfilling relationship. Psychologists advise boldly breaking off relations with those who behave selfishly, aggressively and dishonorably. However, as long as one of the partners loves, the relationship has a chance to recover.

Olesya, Taganrog

Good day, dear readers! The topic of today's article is for women only.

He will learn men's secrets, and we will finally try to understand: why a man does not want a relationship and at the same time does not let go.
Caught in a precarious situation, women suffer and do not find a way out. And often ask themselves: why is this happening to me.

In such a situation, it is worth trying the opposite sex and finding out the reasons for this behavior of partners.

Why a guy maintains a relationship, although he no longer loves, is a difficult question, because each couple has its own unique situation. And most often it's all about the instinct of the owner.

He gets used to the fact that there is a faithful girlfriend who sacrifices a lot for him. It is very difficult to refuse such a novel.

Many people like to feel their unemotional advantage over a person who cannot cope with his passions.
Often a stormy romance suddenly fades, and the person who recently sought you suddenly cooled off.

Meetings are less frequent, and then the man disappears and goes about his business. At the same time, a man has freedom and a woman who is always waiting for a meeting, and no obligations.

He does not make general plans, but he is in no hurry to stop the appearance of communication. It is difficult for a woman to understand that serious intentions were not supposed from the first moment of the novel, and romance is only one-sided.

If time passes, and there are no serious attempts, then you need to think about whether you need such a hassle.

Do you really love him, or regret the time spent, or maybe you are afraid to be alone.
Even if it is very difficult, try to free yourself from such relationships, at least emotionally. Maybe you are delusional that a man is holding you.

Perhaps you are clinging to him. Give him and yourself more freedom.

After all, the distance often helps a man to better appreciate a woman.

This is where the instinct of the conqueror kicks in.

Find out the reasons

A man is flattered that he is loved and everything is done for him. At the same time, he may not strain, but simply not refuse such an opportunity.

Let's find out what other reasons make a man keep a partner nearby even if she is not loved:

1. A long relationship with a girl has already exhausted itself, but until a new love appears, the guy does not break with the old passion. First, the force of habit. And secondly, just in search.
2. Confused in feelings, especially if he has another woman besides you. Just in case, until they let both go. He is afraid to advertise your relationship.
3. The guy is not ready for a permanent relationship and for marriage.
4. Fear of loneliness.
5. A convenient novel that flatters self-esteem.
6. Perhaps you are dear to him as a comrade and friend, and he is with you only because of these feelings or because of gratitude.

If you become interested in someone else or change your lifestyle, he may try to win you back. But do you need such games.

You can spend your best years dreaming and missing out on a really serious relationship.

A girl in love finds excuses for any act of her lover.

How to do it right?

Such painful connections entangle consciousness and do not allow starting other relationships. Years pass, and your partner never matures for serious decisions.

Most women do not immediately understand that they are not loved, and this despite the vaunted female intuition. When awareness comes, many try to restore love and reanimate the feelings of their partner.

Others gain strength and break the connection. And some try to take revenge in the same way.

In any case, it is worth talking to a man. Often a man speaks frankly, and a simple conversation will put everything in its place.

Then you have to decide the fate of the novel.

In doing so, consider the following factors:

• the duration of the novel, the longer the couple is together, the more difficult it is for her to finish everything;
• the strength of their feelings for a man;
• the presence of common children, a company of friends and property;
• partner's behavior and attitude towards you.

Working on relationships is a must if you already have a child. It's not about how you arrange your future life and your worries about the fact that few people want to get acquainted with a woman with a child.

And the whole point is in the child and in his psychological state, as well as in his future fate. After a divorce, children suffer no less than their parents.
Some couples need a shake-up.

Often strong and stable relationships seem boring. A little distance will only benefit.

Can something change?

Let's find out the advice of a psychologist on the question: can a man still fall in love. Experts believe that the likelihood of feelings in this situation quite insignificant.

If he uses a woman, then you should not expect unexpected vivid emotions.
It also happens that the partner does not want to change something, because there are still some feelings and then it is worth making some efforts.

For example, try to look attractive all the time and show care, but at the same time live your life and give freedom to your partner.
If a guy is only interested in a one-time relationship, but he lingered with you, then maybe there are feelings.

It's just hard for a freedom-loving person to admit affection. But this happens only in novels, so do not console yourself with illusions and do not calm down with pipe dreams.

Kill all hope in yourself, and you will immediately understand what to do.

Can you break the chains yourself?

If you decide to break up, then announce a new romance, even if it's not true, and say that your romance was wrong. Announce that you are leaving.

Just don't do it by phone and letters. Innuendo will pull you back. Don't cling to useless straws.
Scenes of jealousy and pleading may follow, which must be endured.

If your partner for so long did not want to move to the next level of relations, then it is unlikely that he will do so in the future.
There are men who can't stand being left first. They may try to get you back and even persecute you.

And they will say what you want to hear.

Remember that to understand your person or not, the easiest way is at a distance. Only breaking old relationships, you can come to a new one. Life goes by too fast to give it away to those who will never appreciate it.

Remember that you won't be forced to be nice. Don't cling, let go. Take care of yourself, work sports. Find a new hobby.

Knocking out a wedge with a wedge or changing an awl for soap is also not worth it. Don't be afraid of loneliness. Actually, that can be great too.

After all, only by remaining alone with oneself, a person learns and develops. This means reading books, mastering a new skill or obtaining a new education or knowledge.

So don't get discouraged and get on with it.
Good luck and self-realization! If you want to say something, please write in the comments.

Subscribe to my blog updates. Goodbye friends!

As a woman, you should trust your intuition more often, as it is not uncommon for her to have the answer hidden deep inside.

"He just won't let me go!"

How often have I heard this from women who have come to me for advice.

Thinking about whether they should save this relationship, or, finally, the time has come to leave them behind, they find solace in the fact that, they say, since this man refuses to let them go free swimming, then, probably, he is their all- still loves.

It often happens that this is so. Often... but not always, so try not to be deceived.

Often in such a situation, love is out of the question. You're just... very, very comfortable.

Yes, you are too convenient for this man to just take you and let you go. Remember how often we see women taking care of their men as if they were their mothers. Only they also have to sleep with their bearded "babies". They clean the house, prepare breakfasts and meals, pay bills, and, in general, allow their companions too much. He can change her, and not put her in anything. He can mock her intellectually, emotionally and spiritually, and even physically. But because every time they are going to break up with him once and for all, they insist that they want to be with her and only with her, they buy into the old one over and over again, like the world "since he does not want to let me go He probably loves me."

Believe me - if he really loved you, he would not do even half of the above.

And I certainly wouldn’t wait until you were about to throw him in order to once again cast a bait with a tasty and bright bait “I want to be with you.” But don't be deceived - once he pulls you back into his net, he will immediately put the bait aside, returning to the previous negative behavior. If he really loved you, every time he intentionally hurt you, filling your life with stress, unhappiness, anxiety, would be such a heavy burden on his heart that he would hardly be able to repeat it over and over again.

A man who loves his woman simply cannot see her pain and suffering, and feel completely normal after that. Of course, many situations are nowhere near as extreme, but the general principle remains the same. He keeps you close and holds on to you with his hands and feet because you are his coupon for free breakfast, lunch and dinner. Why would he let you go somewhere?

Love has nothing to do with such situations, and if you got into it, then you should be honest at least with yourself. Don't keep feeding yourself lies just out of fear of relationship breakdown and loneliness. And be that as it may, neither I nor anyone else can have all the information about your relationship, and therefore our options are somewhat limited. That is why I would like to advise you to trust your own intuition more - a rare woman, having asked herself such a question, does not know the truthful answer to it, even if it is hidden deep inside.

If you're wondering why he won't let you go if he doesn't want you, we've put together 6 essential things you need to know if you want to get out of this relationship.

1. Understand that you and he are running different operating systems.

You desire shared feelings, intimacy, devotion, long-term relationships. He also wants all this - when you leave him. But when you come back and offer him all this, he feels like you are limiting his “freedom”, he panics, and either runs away on his own or tries his best to destroy your relationship, caustically criticizing them, bombarding you with nit-picking, refusing any either housework, and/or cheating on you. Understand that if he wants something, it is not at all the same as you.

2. Slow down.

Remember - trust is not given just like that and immediately. It must be earned. So if you decide to give a guy a second chance because he allegedly repented and swears that now your goals in life completely coincide, take your time and do not immediately rush into the maelstrom of relationships. It is better to first look at it slightly from the side. Yes, conciliatory sex can be as explosive and bright as the fireworks at the Olympics, but this is not yet an indication that something has changed.

3. Remember - you are not the heroine of the movie.

Have you seen the movie "An Officer and a Gentleman"? Remember how after Richard Gere left Debra Winger, he soon came to his senses and realized what he had done? He immediately rushed to the factory where she worked, wrapped her in his arms, and took her to a romantic and bright future - incredibly beautiful, strong, loving, and sexy, like a March cat. Perhaps, this fairy tale fascinates stronger than "Sleeping Beauty" and "Snow White" combined. Only now we do not live in a fairy tale, but in our world the only thing that, most likely, the real Debra Winger will get in such a situation is an old hat forgotten in her little room, and maybe torn socks - if he does not take them away.

4. Trust his deeds, not his words.

When your boyfriend, after betrayal and your breakup, crawls back with tears in his eyes and with a broken heart, he is ready to say anything, if only you would return. And the problem is that, most likely, he really believes his words - that's why they sound so convincing. But sweet words are not everything. If as soon as he gets you back, he starts to feel "captive" again and starts talking about how you crush him and limit his freedom ... well, you know what to do.

5. Don't make excuses for his bad behavior, and don't blame yourself.

By and large, those of us who are drawn to a jerk with an allergy to fulfilling relationships often find an overabundance of empathy and a tendency to self-blame.

Often all this remains to us “inheritance” from our own childhood. Young children think that they themselves are responsible for everything that happens to them - both good and bad. At this age, they are not yet able to understand and realize that they are not at all the center of the universe.

So if our childhood was, let's say, not quite perfect - especially if the parents had any addictions - we often carry the feeling of "it's all my fault for all my problems" from childhood straight into adulthood, which makes us vulnerable to egoists, psychopaths, alcoholics, people allergic to relationships and other questionable personalities.

Take a look at your boyfriend's past. Does he leave behind a trail of broken hearts? If this is the case, then most likely you do not bear the slightest responsibility for his vile character and behavior.

6. Take care of yourself.

When our toxic "ex" comes crawling up to us, exhausted and hurt because he misses a relationship that he recently blew to pieces, our first instinct is often to jump in and try to make things right. So ... the next time you are overwhelmed by such a desire, think - is it worth it?

Question:
My girlfriend is friends with her ex-boyfriend. They see each other sometimes, he helps her in some of her affairs. They have some things in common. How to react to it? What to do?

Question:

My girlfriend is friends with her ex-boyfriend. They see each other sometimes, he helps her in some of her affairs. They have some things in common. How to react to it? What to do?

Alexander Biryukov's answer:

I'll start with what there is no "friendship" between a man and a woman. Any inter-gender "friendship" is divided into two options: 1. He wants her, but she doesn't want him, 2. She wants him, but he doesn't. So choose from these two options, which one is more pleasant for you.

Second. What a touching picture: the girl is friends with the former, and he so nobly helps her in her affairs! Now go and wash your face with cold water to wake up. Because it's not him, her ex, but you're her temporary. She's with you just because she's bored of being alone while she waits for her chance to get her ex back. And in order not to be completely dreary, she spends time with you. Maybe even give you. Because women also love sex, and the ex does not want it.

In fact, her relationship is still there. And her man (at least in her head) is the one you call an ex. And not you at all.

Basically, you don't mind her at all. Maximum.

Now about the general affairs. What is your girlfriend, co-owner of the concern, and the second co-owner is her ex? Well then, the choice is yours, what to prefer: to be a cuckold and live with a rich lady, or to keep honor.

What, no concern? Then what kind of inseparable things can they have that she continues to meet with the person she broke up with?

Let me explain. Any parting can only be against the background of serious dissatisfaction with each other. And dissatisfied people first of all remove the "irritant" from their lives. That is, if they really broke up, they would cut off all contacts and certainly would not meet once a week to crackle in a cafe.

Their "common affairs" are nothing more than her attempt to maintain bridges with the object of her true love. I repeat, you are nothing more than a surrogate for her. The real relationship is still there. She asks him to help her in the hope that there will be an opportunity to restore the relationship. She closely monitors the situation and waits for an opportunity to return her lover. This is what their contacts, “common affairs” and other evasions are intended for. I won’t be surprised if she already tried to roll up to the former during your relationship.

In any case, what is described in the question is guaranteed to lead to cheating on you with your ex. Either she will achieve her goal and return the ex, or she will simply somersault with him sometimes, rejoicing that at least she was able to keep him.

Even if they have a real business relationship, the likelihood of episodes of “friendly sex” between them tends to 100%. Business relationships turn into sexual ones. Or even do not pass, but do not end.

What to do? Stop being an alternate or temporary airfield.

Exit one. You directly demand that she cut off all contact with the former. She removes him from her social media. networks and blacklisted. Deletes a phone number. There can be no talk of any meetings in real life, this is already 90% treason.

Otherwise, you break up with her. Why - can you briefly explain. Although, women understand such things themselves, without words. And, in fact, she should think of herself to make sure that the shadow of her previous relationship does not make you nervous. It's just a matter of cleanliness and loyalty. If she didn't, that's already a huge argument in favor of the fact that you don't really mean anything to her.

No objections are accepted. If she refuses (under any pretext) - definitely parting. They don’t have such important things that they cannot be interrupted for the sake of your relationship.

Don't want to interrupt? It means that your relationship, your feelings for her are not really worth anything. She's just spending time with you. She has love on the side. 100% guarantee.

And here is the video version of the article: