How can you persuade a person? This question is asked by many people who want to learn how to defend their point of view. Convincing your interlocutor of something can sometimes seem like an extremely difficult task that is incomparable with other efforts. The fact is that each individual has his own opinion on this or that issue. To be able to convey the necessary information to him, it is necessary to update it as much as possible. internal forces. How to do it right? What work should be done? Let's try to understand this difficult issue.

Reflection technique

It is about instilling the maximum degree of trust in your opponent. This best way gently and painlessly influence the situation. The reflection technique works in all cases when there is a desire to influence the situation. How to persuade a person?

You just need to try to speak his language. This is the best way to build trust in yourself. If you contrast your beliefs with your opponent, it is unlikely to lead to a satisfactory result. You must act carefully, trying not to go too far. All hypocrisy should be avoided, since it never leads to the desired goal.

Speak quickly

The pace of speech also matters. This is not surprising, since people subconsciously take this point into account in conversations. If you speak quickly, without stretching out your sentences, the person will begin to listen more carefully to your words. Short, abrupt speech helps to increase concentration and has a positive effect on the individual.

If the subject of the conversation concerns some important things, then it becomes much easier to convince a person of something. Rapid speech forces a person to drop his thoughts and seriously concentrate on what is being said.

Soft questions

Having thought about how to properly persuade a person, decide to act unobtrusively. You can ask your interlocutor soft questions that will prepare your opponent for a certain decision. It is best to try not to get into your soul right away, but to learn about everything gradually. Questions that require an affirmative answer work very well.

Compliments

How to persuade a person to do something? You need to praise him personal qualities. It is recommended to say pleasant words. This puts people at ease and allows the conversation to be directed in the right direction. In this case, there is no need to be embarrassed to pronounce words of praise: there are never too many of them. Compliments are necessary in order to get closer to the very essence of a person. If an individual lets you get so close, it means that, most likely, he will be able to be persuaded to take certain actions.

Any praise almost always works flawlessly. The main thing is that the words are spoken with the necessary sincerity. Falsity is felt immediately, and a wise person is unlikely to respond to it. Deception destroys any relationship and contributes to the formation of spiritual coldness and rejection. Everyone wants to feel important and self-sufficient. For this reason, you need to try to act gently and be patient.

Good mood

It is known that a smile disarms like nothing else. When we share part of our energy with people, we receive visible benefits in return. This is why it is so important to be able to save good mood and be positive.

Try to control your own emotions, do not allow them to arise conflict situations against the backdrop of rejection of some aspects. How to persuade a person? It is necessary to sincerely smile at him, strive to demonstrate a kind disposition towards him. Only in this case will your opponent begin to trust you.

Useful stuff

When we do something good for our interlocutor, he begins to feel gratitude. A useful deed gives a person the grounds to start listening to your words. Feelings of gratitude help bring people closer together. And only then you can use this feeling to try to lead it to a certain decision. But first you always need to try to give something important to your interlocutor. Only in this case will he listen to your words and, perhaps, change his mind.

Advantages of the offer

If there is an intention to lead an individual to some decision, then it is necessary to show positive aspects from cooperation. It is necessary to demonstrate all the benefits of the offer, so much so that it is impossible to refuse it. A person may agree only because he becomes interested in seeing the visible benefits. If a person does not find anything beneficial for himself, then he is unlikely to delve into the details at all.

Nice appearance

People always pay attention to this, although sometimes they try to pretend that they are not interested in appearance. Having thought about how to persuade a person, you need to take care of your appearance. No one likes to communicate with a slob in a greasy jacket. Attractive appearance It is very attractive and helps build trust. Once the desired impression has been created, you can submit any information. Charm is of great importance; it literally attracts people to you.

Middle-aged people

How to persuade an elderly person? It is important to follow several rules here. Firstly, you should not try to force your position on them too actively. This will only cause rejection and further rejection. Secondly, you need to be prepared for failure.

Older people are quite suspicious and will not want to waste time on something that will not be useful to them in the long run. It is necessary to present the proposal in such a way that it seems not only correct, but also sounds quite noble. A person who has lived many years in the world is very sensitive to such concepts as honor and dignity. If you deceive him and do not keep his promise, he will completely stop trusting you.

Thus, in the question of how to persuade a person, you need to be careful and adhere to common sense. It is necessary to act confidently and at the same time unobtrusively. Great value has the mood of the interlocutor and his willingness to accept proposals from you.

Any communication between people is necessarily aimed at achieving a specific goal by its participants, persuasion or a call to action, this is the result of any dialogue. If someone says that he communicates just like that, without a specific goal, then this person is either disingenuous or simply does not understand what goal he is pursuing and what goal his interlocutor is pursuing. For the unconscious world in which most people live, this is in the order of things, but here are people like you and me, who study psychology and understand nature human behavior, motives when communicating should be noticed immediately. And of course, when entering into a dialogue with someone, we, as more or less conscious people, must not only understand what we want from him, but also, if possible, calculate the result of such a dialogue. If our goal of communication is not to extract information from the interlocutor, but to convince him of something, then we should remember some features of the human psyche, by playing on which we will definitely persuade him in our direction.

To understand that in an ideal way works to convince people, we just need to take a closer look at our world, its history and the present, where nothing actually changes, people believed sweet fairy tales and still believe in them. General loud phrases work better on them than specifics and intelligible speech; there is no need to explain anything, just convince people that everything will be fine. And here, my friends, your self-confidence comes first. After all, what is our life, from the point of view of our knowledge about it? This is a set of some patterns, beliefs, postulates that we cherish like the apple of our eye and hold on to them like a life preserver in order to experience a feeling of confidence, certainty, and stability. Our whole life rests on the belief in these things that once somehow came into our heads. Something is added to them in the process of life, but something we simply don’t notice and don’t want to notice, preferring to deal only with familiar and understandable things. We very often simply believe in everything and everyone, especially in what coincides with the knowledge we already have, because we ourselves have little opportunity to learn something with the help of our experience and check something with the help of our senses. This means that what we believe in is quite convincing for us, because it is simply convenient. It’s convenient for us to believe in something, it’s so easy. Well, since people once believed in one thing, then why not force them to believe in another, why not convince them of something that will be easy for them to accept on faith, because this something will be simple, understandable, convenient and pleasant for them, maybe even going with something they already believe in? The main thing is to confidently and persistently present it to people new information, as an important and unshakable truth. Nobody in this world really knows anything, because the world is very complex, man has not yet fully understood it, and if even such great scientists as, for example, Einstein, were wrong, then what can we say about most other people who have less a broad and detailed view of life.

So what can we be sure of? Yes, probably nothing. Any of us can be wrong and will definitely be wrong, this is from an objective point of view. As for each of us individually, you can convince other people only if you believe in yourself - that's one thing, and believe in what you say - that's two. Of course, it is also very important how you say it and what you want people to do. Let’s say that people really like to hear that someone else is to blame for their troubles, but not themselves, and that this someone needs and can be made to answer for all their troubles. At the same time, it is very important that as little as possible is required from the people themselves; let someone else do something for the good of their lives, but not themselves. This works very well for oppressed, depressed and offended people, who are the majority. And if you notice this feature, then that’s it public organizations, movements, sects and similar associations play precisely on this, they are looking for a common enemy, looking for problems in the outside world, and not in the person himself.

The only thing they can offer is to start changing yourself so that the world changes, only by changing yourself, you change yourself, and the world around you will be the way you can make it, by making an effort, and not waiting for God’s mercy. You shouldn’t tell them this, if you want to convince other people of something, it’s better to put pressure on the fact that everything is very simple and that everything will come by itself, you just need to wait, hope and believe. Never hold people responsible, no matter what it is, especially for yourself, as I already said, everyone is to blame for everything, politicians, enemies, aliens, but not those who are not happy with something. Otherwise, they won’t listen to you, because responsibility is something that people fear like hell, and some don’t even know what it is. Promise a sweet future, here you don’t even have to be a psychologist or a sociologist to simply see with your own eyes the desire of people to believe that the time will finally come when everything will be fine, when everything will be better. With all this, many cannot even really define this better, but it doesn’t matter, it’s important to promise it.

When communicating, do not forget to praise your interlocutor or a group of people; it is very important that people feel proud and not killed when they are taught like little children, because in fact that is what they are. In general, when you convince other people of something, it is extremely important to know what beliefs they currently hold; you can find out this within a few minutes by simply asking questions about the person himself. Your idea or whatever you push into other people's heads should not go against what is already there, even if in fact it is true. Act step by step, develop a persuasion strategy according to which your idea keeps pace with the person’s already accepted idea, it seems to complement it. Then, gradually, you will redirect the person’s actions in the direction you need, rebuild his way of thinking, and do not destroy the old, in order to build a new one, for many this is a very painful process, because of which they may reject you.

Remember Hitler - this wonderful orator who managed to fool the minds of millions of people and dragged them into a bloody war. Well, isn’t this moment in history indicative of understanding the human psyche and identifying its preferences? There is, of course, a difference between the conviction of an oppressed and depressed people or person, and the similar conviction of people who are completely satisfied with life. In the latter case, you need to find some kind of problem in order to make people dependent on you based on it, and problems have always been, are and will be, our whole life consists of them. But people don’t like to solve them, and therefore they willingly follow someone who will do it for them. You can be such a person if you want to convince people of something, and of course you will not solve their problems yourself, you will solve them with the hands of these same people, simply by moving their asses off the ground. As a result, you will receive their recognition and respect, you will become an authority for them.

A strong personality is someone people willingly believe and follow anywhere, a weak and insecure person can convince few people of anything, because he himself doubts what he says, and people feel this instinctively. So if you decide to convince someone of something, first convince yourself of it, and only then, using simple-to-implement techniques, start telling interesting tales and drawing beautiful images for other people. People love fairy tales. Not everyone, of course, takes them seriously, but the majority, the overwhelming majority, love it when they, as they say, get bullied. That's how we people are. And using this majority, you can put pressure on the rebellious minority. Although these people think more soberly, they have not learned to convince others of their sobriety. I consider myself one of these people; I have never had so many fans and supporters that I could think that people have become stronger, because I only offer bitter pills in the form of truth. People run from my truth when everything is good for them, and return to me when everything is bad, because only a true understanding of things can identify, heal and forever rid a person of the problems that poison his life.

So, my friends, I teach you one thing, but I myself fundamentally adhere to a different policy, because the majority will never be on my side, unless a miracle happens and people become stronger, listening to the truth and what it brings. But it’s my job to prove to everyone that I can live real life and looking this life straight in the eye is actually not as scary as it seems, and living the life of a reasonable person who is responsible for his life is much better and more enjoyable than constantly being a pawn in the hands of others. So use my recommendation for persuading people as you see fit, and don’t forget to check yourself to see if you yourself are hanging on someone else’s hook in a similar way.

All people are different, and everyone has the right to their own point of view - this, or almost so, says the philosophical wisdom known for centuries. They say we need to accept a person’s right to be himself and think in his own way. However, it is extremely difficult to come to terms with this fact. It’s one thing when the question concerns fairly neutral questions like “what kind of music do you like” or “what is better: comedies or action films.” But the situation changes dramatically if your opponent’s opinion influences the joint decision. For example, in the case of concluding contracts. And simply in cases where it is fundamentally important to convince a person that you, and not he, are right!

In order to convince a person that you are right, it is enough to know a few ways to win the interlocutor over to you.

1. Be sincere. Even if everything is boiling inside you, you must maintain calm and composure, otherwise persuasion methods will not work. Smile broadly and carelessly, no need to get under your opponent’s skin, loosen your grip. Do not pretend that you are absolutely indifferent to the outcome of the negotiations - because this is not the case. Just be open and willing to talk.

2. Before you believe that your proposal or point of view is exclusively correct, clearly believe it yourself. This is so, and it cannot be otherwise.

3. Let the person know that you respect him and his point of view. Intersperse your beliefs with neutral remarks. Insist, but with a smile. And agree with him. Take it for granted: your interlocutor is (most likely) not a stupid person. His point of view is also worthy of respect! The question, by and large, is not how to convince a person, but how to make him want to accept your point of view.

4. Impose your pace on your interlocutor. However, you should not do this abruptly and rudely. You need to be on the same page. But how! It is important that your pace is picked up by the interlocutor, and not vice versa. To do this, after the phrase he says, speak at exactly the same pace as him (slowly or quickly), and at the end of the phrase, be sure to increase or slow down the tempo. Thus, you not only create conditions for negotiations that are convenient for you, but also subconsciously make it clear to your opponent that he is playing by your rules.

5. Speak the same language. Before you convince a person to buy something from you or accept your terms, stand in his place: would you take something that is being so diligently “peddled”? Hardly. However, talk about benefits that interest your interlocutor. And it doesn’t matter whether you are selling something or simply convincing a friend of the correctness of your ideas, make it clear that you hear him, listen and, generally speaking, mean the same thing! So you “turn around” to the interlocutor and he, willy-nilly, has to give up his defensive position.

6. Don't be boring. Whatever the dispute is: an attempt to sign a business contract on terms favorable to you or to convince a friend that your favorite film is better than his - there is no point in throwing around facts alone. If the person in front of you is erudite and passionate, he may well bombard you with facts that indicate the opposite. So you can prove something for a very long time and prove nothing in the end. Agree with him, balance.

7. Provide your arguments in the form of questions. It's paradoxical, but it works. Let's say you and a friend are arguing about whether a certain actor's role in a given film is the peak of his career. Are you sure that yes, it is. Ask the question: "Can you name the films released during that year in which he performed better?" And the friend will think a little... The protection is partially broken.

6. Overcoming resistance. If you successfully managed to overcome the previous stages, you will notice that the person has “thawed out” and become more complacent and disposed towards you. In other words, some of the barriers to his resistance have been overcome. How to convince a person that you are right? Build questions in such a way that the interlocutor answers “yes”. Ask emotional questions, provide a comfortable environment.

The veil has now been lifted somewhat on the mystery of how to persuade people.

To achieve success, improve relationships with colleagues, and arrange your personal life, it is important to know how to persuade people. Changing a person's position can be difficult, but there are various means of persuasion for this.

How to persuade a person: methods of verbal influence

Belief is a form psychological impact per person, in which main role verbal or speech means play a role: logic, clear argumentation, inferences, etc. There are several effective psychological techniques that increase the persuasiveness of speech, and often help influence the subconscious of the interlocutor.

Knowing how to persuade people will help you achieve your goal faster.

• Logics. A person’s acceptance of your arguments directly depends on the logic of your speech. It manifests itself in a clear connection between judgments, when one thought naturally follows from another and ultimately leads the interlocutor to the conclusion you need.
• Stimulation. When persuading, choose arguments that affect your partner’s personal interests and “promise” him benefits or threaten him with problems.
• Reframing. This is a psychological technique of “inverting” the meaning of a statement. Words are the shell of thought, but the same thought, expressed in different words, can change the meaning to the exact opposite. Thus, the words “scout” and “spy” have the same meaning, but completely different meanings.
• Emotional coloring of speech. The degree of your persuasiveness largely depends on the personal interest and emotionality of the speech.

All these methods will only work if your speech is clear, expressive, and distinguished by high culture and good vocabulary. The indistinct, confused muttering of a man having difficulty finding the right words, will never be convincing.

How to persuade a person to do something: nonverbal means

It has long been noted that with personal contact it is easier to convince a person of something than over the phone. It's even harder to do this in a written message. The fact is that non-verbal (non-speech) means of communication play a huge role in the transmission of information. With their help, 60-80% of information is transmitted, and they are the ones who are able to influence a person’s subconscious, regardless of his desire.

There are many techniques for psychologically “tuning” an interlocutor. Here are some of them.

• Mirror. Unobtrusively repeating your partner's movements makes him trust you.
• Light touches. Psychologists believe that a person, in a conversation with someone he trusts, unconsciously tries to touch him from time to time. By touching your interlocutor, you thereby demonstrate your trust in him and set him up for a positive perception of you.
• Smile. This universal means of communication has a positive effect on people and encourages them to trust their interlocutor.
• Expressive intonation. Convincing and positively colored intonation creates a special optimistic atmosphere. You want to believe a person who speaks energetically and even cheerfully.

Persuasiveness should not be confused with obsession. Trying to convince your interlocutor for too long causes irritation and rejection. Therefore, if you were unable to persuade a person, then it is better not to insist and postpone the conversation until another convenient time.

Every person periodically faces the need to convince someone to do what is needed. This happens at work, in government institutions, in friendships, love and family relationships. At the same time, people do not fully understand how exactly to persuade their interlocutor to commit required action, and therefore often fail and do not get what they want. To avoid such problems, you need to master special psychological techniques for convincing people, and also be able to find an approach to different personality types, since what is suitable in a conversation with one person is absolutely not suitable for another.

10 Simple Techniques for Convincing People to Do What You Want

When it comes to persuading people, one must be delicate in order to be sure of the final positive result. In this.

1. Franklin effect - Return of kindness. Good deeds always endear people to each other, even if initially one of them has a negative attitude towards the other. Accordingly, a person who receives a favor is more likely to return the favor. This effect works flawlessly, you just need to be patient and continue to stick to your line.
2. Ask for more. If you need money, for example, you can ask a friend for an initially inflated amount. The friend will most likely refuse, but the thought will settle in his head, after some time the friend will feel guilty and offer an amount that is less than what was originally asked of him, but close to the one that is really needed. This is how this effect works. However, this technique can be used not only in matters of money. You need to understand the essence - overestimate your needs.
3. The magic of the interlocutor's name. Almost everyone knows about this trick from Carnegie. But it always works. People love the sound of their own name spoken in dialogue with them. The more often you call a person by name, the more friendly he becomes towards you. If you combine this with a smile, the effect will become stronger and success will be closer.
4. Flattery. We are talking about justified flattery, otherwise it looks rude and tactless, the person will immediately decide that you need something from him. Understand who you are dealing with and emphasize the positive aspects and qualities of the person. It is also better to understand a person's self-esteem. If it is high enough, then the interlocutor will simply see that you also discerned his essence, and this attracts people to each other. If self-esteem is low, then flattery will not be perceived as intended, and you will lose trust and favor.
5. Become a “mirror” of your interlocutor. If you want to gain the favor of your interlocutor, then study it, and then carefully repeat them when communicating with the person. Don't overdo it, otherwise it will look like mimicry. If you use this technique unobtrusively, then a person will be pleased to see his manners from the outside. He will decide that you like them, and therefore himself, and will also become sympathetic.
6. Become an “echo”. In essence, this technique continues the previous one. The interlocutor will be pleased to hear words and phrases he often mentions from another person.
7. Make requests to tired people. A tired person is more likely to agree to fulfill your request simply because he does not have the extra energy to argue and explain why he does not want to fulfill it. Of course, we are talking about a request, the fulfillment of which will not entail large energy costs. This effect is best used to obtain permission for something.
8. Don't point out people's mistakes. The interlocutor, under any circumstances, will not like it if he is pointed out that he has made a mistake. From a psychological point of view, you cannot do this if you do not want to become an enemy for a person, even if he is fundamentally wrong, and you know this for sure. First, agree, and then carefully try to change your opponent’s point of view so that he sees and admits the mistake.
9. Nod. Nodding is perceived by a person as approval of his words, point of view, he will consider that he likes you, he will be pleased to communicate with you and provide a service.
10. Learn to listen. It is very important to listen and not pretend to be interested. The artificiality is visible and causes nothing but irritation, mistrust and reluctance to tell anything. And sincere interest will make you, in the eyes of your interlocutor, a person who can be trusted. The ability to empathize is rare, but those who have mastered it are highly valued. Therefore, if you do not have this skill, try to learn it. At first you will have to make an effort to understand someone else's situation, to put yourself in the other person's place, but later, this will happen automatically. If they need something, it is difficult to refuse such people; their opinion is always taken into account.

How to convince different types of interlocutors?

It sounds corny, but all people are different, and they all behave differently in conversations. Therefore, it is important to understand that you should behave differently with each type of interlocutor. We are talking specifically about types, because from the point of view of psychology, people are divided into groups. You can try to study, focusing on the type of temperament (melancholic, phlegmatic, choleric or sanguine). To do this you need to have professional psychological abilities and education. Therefore, it is better for a person who is not deeply immersed in psychology to look at a different classification of types of interlocutors. They are divided into aggressive (attacking), indifferent (inactive), self-confident (inflexible), indecisive (running away). This typology is simpler and clearer for ordinary people, because almost anyone can easily identify an interlocutor to one of these groups.

Aggressive interlocutors speak as if they are conducting military operations - loudly and harshly, with pressure. You can defeat such people with their own weapons and exert even more pressure, but not everyone can do this. But there are a couple of tips that everyone can use. Imagine yourself in a fortress that cannot be destroyed. This technique is called "detachment". After some time, the aggressor will realize that his attacks are pointless and will be forced to retreat. The second method is to look, without looking away, at a point located above the bridge of the interlocutor’s nose, as if at a target. At first you will have to withstand an increased attack, but then the person will feel discomfort and fear, he will have to give up.

To convince and force indifferent interlocutors to do something you need, you need to constantly pester them with your request. They will understand that it is easier to do what you want than to endure further persuasion, because they don’t care. You can try to interest a person by finding personal interests for him in performing the desired action. Also, indifferent people will make a concession if you build a strong chain of evidence for them that this business will bring useful results in the future.

It is very difficult to convince an interlocutor of something who is completely confident in himself. It is impossible to convince him, persuade him, etc. One of the options that you can resort to is to take it weakly, that is, show the person that you doubt him, in such a situation he can give in and do what you need, proving your wealth.

An indecisive person always doubts and hesitates, and cannot give an exact answer. It will not be possible to persuade and argue with him, because he will initially be against a clear decision. There is an option to pretend to be indecisive and ask for advice, gradually leading you to the right decision and the right action for you.

Indecision, self-doubt, constant fears... All these points require careful study with a specialist, for example, a psychologist-hypnologist