This summer I became a godmother. She treated the sacrament of Baptism with all responsibility and reverence. Baptism is a person's decision to become a Christian. If parents perform Baptism for a child, then the helpless little man they choose godparents. One godfather for a boy or one godmother for a girl is considered sufficient.
Who can be godfather
When choosing a godfather for their child, parents must be sure that the godparents will be responsible for the responsibilities that the rite of Baptism imposes on them.
The child's parents themselves, people serving as monks or nuns, the unbaptized, non-believers, the mentally ill and people who are drunk cannot be godparents.
What a godmother needs to know
The godmother must understand and realize the meaning of the rite of Baptism and live according to the commandments of God. You must know the following prayers: Our Father, the Heavenly King and the Creed. The Creed is read by the godparents during Baptism.
What to prepare before baptism
The godmother must prepare a gift for her godson. It is best to consult with the child's parents. For my daughter, I bought a silver cross with a chain and the book “The Basics of Orthodoxy.” Gifts should be from the heart.
I also bought a baptismal set for the girls in advance. It includes a white lace robe to make it easy to undress the child for swimming in the font, a scarf and socks. Such baptismal sets, separately for girls and boys, are available for sale in the church store.
We talked with our parents about how we would spend the day after the whole ceremony.
It is better if there are the closest people. This day should pass without fuss and hassle.
How to behave during Baptism
The attitude towards the temple should be reverent. When entering a temple, you need to cross yourself. The woman must wear a headdress. You should choose modest clothing so that your arms and shoulders are covered. You are not allowed to enter the temple in trousers.
During the ceremony, Father explains everything in detail. It is necessary to repeat prayers after him. After washing the child in the font, he is given into the hands of the godmother.
The child should be familiar with his godmother so that he is not afraid and does not experience stress from an unfamiliar environment. But even if the child cries, it’s okay. Father conducts his service and the children gradually calm down.
What should a godmother do after baptism?
Immediately after baptism, Christenings are celebrated. The invitees gather at the table. It would be better if the godmother takes on some of the troubles on this day.
In the future, the godmother should be there at important moments in the life of the goddaughter. Don't forget her on her birthdays, Church holidays and others significant days in the fate of the child.
Great opportunities open up for a mother's loving heart. When we talk about responsibilities, I would like to clarify that these responsibilities are very joyful. Lead a person’s life according to God’s law.
Not everyone is trusted to be godparents. We must be proud of this and be a true friend, mentor and spiritual guardian of the child.
From the rite of Baptism, the child has not only a godmother, but also a Guardian Angel who will accompany him throughout his life.
Simple questions. My second parents
(article from the magazine "Orthodox Herald", publishing house of the Ekaterinburg diocese, website of the magazine orthodox-magazine.ru)
There are Orthodox people who are looked for today “with fire” - these are godparents for a child. About 20 years ago, any baptized person quickly found before the sacrament could become a godfather. The main thing is that it actually exists! Today, the attitude towards godparents has changed. It is difficult to find such people, because, according to modern Christians, they must be strong in faith, they must pray, live a full church life, and raise their godson in the faith. But even if the parents were lucky enough to “track down” potential godparents among the parishioners of their church, they still have to persuade them to take responsibility for their godson. We decided to discuss all the main nuances of the relationship between godparents and godchildren, as well as their parents, with Archpriest Evgeniy Popichenko.
O. Evgeny, who are the godparents?
I really like the opinion of Fr. Andrey Kuraev about godparents. He says that a godfather is a person who is unobtrusively present in a child’s life. He appears like the sun, warms, rejoices, communicating with his godson and parents. But when a child enters adolescence and begins to challenge parental authority and protest, the godfather must become that authoritative adult with whom vital issues can be discussed. For example, the issue of life and death, issues of relationships between the sexes and the like. Thus, the godfather becomes an additional support for both the godson and the parents. But this is in theory, but in practice... it’s hard for me to remember from history an example of a godfather who would lead his godson to holiness.
In general, it is difficult to trace when the duties of a godfather began to include the responsibility of education. After all, initially godparents were simply witnesses to the fidelity of the person being baptized.
Brief historical background:
Saint Hippolytus of Rome (late 2nd - early 3rd century) mentions godparents (or godparents) as people who bring a person wishing to be baptized to the bishop. In the 3rd century, the Didascalia (Apostolic Instruction), and somewhat later, the Apostolic Constitutions, link the face of the perceived with the gender of the recipient: the successor of a man is a deacon, the successor of a woman is a deaconess. The recipients became guarantors (from the Greek “anadochos” - guarantor for the debtor), who vouched for the purity of life and the seriousness of the intentions of the person wishing to be baptized.
It is unknown whether the recipient was obliged to participate in the life of his godson after baptism. If a child was baptized, his believing parents became his guarantors. And only in the 5th century, when the baptism of children became widespread, the institution of succession began to develop, and ideas about the “spiritual kinship” of godparents and godchildren appeared, reflected, for example, in the law of Justinian, which prohibited marriage between a successor and his goddaughter. At the same time, the recipient remained the guarantor, and the task of upbringing lay with the child’s parents. Only one godparent took part in the baptism, and only in the 14th century did the custom of inviting two godparents appear - in the image of an ordinary family.
What are the requirements for a godfather today?
An interesting point is that demands on the godfather can be made from two sides, from the child’s loved ones and from the Church. For the parents of the baby, the requirements arise from the motives for choosing a godfather. In my practice I have encountered several motives. Firstly, wealthy, authoritative people in society were invited to be godparents, so that they would later help the godson in solving life situations. From an everyday point of view, everything is very correct: after all, parents choose a “relative with a future” both for their child and for themselves. But at the same time, as a rule, parents did not look at the qualities of a person’s soul, whether he lived a Christian life or was formally listed as baptized. The main quality of the godfather in this case is worldly success. The main motive is selfish calculation.
Secondly, this is a friendly motive: parents invite their friends to be godparents to their children so that the friendship continues and grows stronger. Thirdly, relatives are invited to become godparents. This was the case before; in villages, older brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts often became godparents. This provided real assistance in raising children. But if previously large families lived together, or at least nearby, now a relative-godfather is an additional strengthening of the weak family ties of the modern family.
From the point of view of the Church, main criterion godfather - he must be a living Christian, that is, he must know Orthodoxy, he must not sin mortally, but must struggle with passions, try to live according to the Gospel, and participate in the sacraments. But these criteria are also relevant for the child’s parents, otherwise everything is meaningless. There is nothing worse than having children baptized by godless parents, formal Christians. After all, it is to the parents that the Lord gives the child for a while, so that they can raise him for eternity, raise him as a true Christian. It is unlikely that godless parents will be able to understand their child’s destiny for eternity, develop the talents given to him by God, the gifts of the Holy Spirit given to him in baptism. Rather, they will destroy him spiritually by seeking worldly “happiness” for him. Therefore, first there must be a deep, conscious churching of the parents, who will create the right atmosphere for the child, and then the baptism of their children.
But often parents have a magical attitude towards baptism; they hope that baptism will save the child from all troubles and throughout life “God will help him” only because of the fact of baptism. There are precedents in the history of the Church for decisions regarding the baptism of children of non-Christians. For example, in Byzantium, non-Christians (pagans or Muslims) turned to Orthodox priests with a request to baptize their children out of superstition (“the evil spirit will be driven away from baptized children”). But such baptism was not recognized as valid, because the parents did not believe Orthodoxy (and therefore the Gospel requirement “whoever believes and is baptized will be saved” (Mark 16:16) was not fulfilled), but perceived the baptism of their children as bodily medicine and sorcery.
Baptism is only a possibility of salvation (and God will not necessarily save a person through peaceful and quiet life, more often the Lord saves through sorrow), this is a potential opportunity, a grain for which good soil is needed.
O. Evgeniy, it often happens that parents are those very “formal Christians”, “baptized atheists”, and grandmothers are church-going Christians. The grandmother wants to baptize her grandson, the parents “in principle are not against it.” They are not even against the fact that the grandmother would take her grandson to church for Communion. Church life is incomprehensible to them, distant and indifferent. Is it possible to baptize such babies, placing responsibility for spiritual life not on the parents, but on the grandmother and godparents?
Unfortunately, this is a frequent and dramatic situation. On one of the Internet forums where baptism was discussed, a mother spoke out like this: “I am a sarcastic, militant atheist, I myself am against baptism, but apparently my relatives will “finish me off.” Let them baptize if they want.” That is, relatives insist on their desire to baptize the child, excluding the influence of parents on his future spiritual life.
Also indicative is the statement of an Internet forum member: “I consider it a farce to baptize a child in an unbelieving family. That’s how I explain it to my relatives. All the same, we will not give our children a religious education. Although benefits can be found. There will be godparents - relatives who can be chosen. Extra gifts for the holidays..."
Some church canons hint: children cannot be baptized in non-believing families, that is, in those families in which the parents did not come to the Liturgy on more than three Sundays in a row without a good reason. In the works of the martyr Justin the Philosopher and the hieromartyr Hippolytus of Rome (“Apostolic Tradition”) it is said that the most important conditions Baptism is an expression of will (that is, a conscious decision to accept Christ into one's life), faith and repentance.
At first glance, these conditions are not relevant for infants being baptized. But for the children, these conditions must be met by their parents. “Infants are baptized according to the faith of their parents and adoptive parents, who are obliged to teach them the faith when they grow up.”(Long Catechism, paragraph 289). And if parents live without faith, they did not express their will to baptize their child, and repentance is “not relevant” for them? What kind of baptism of their child can we talk about?
We must not forget about the responsibility of the priest for the baptism of children of unbelieving parents: “If a priest baptizes a Turk’s offspring... let it erupt”, that is, he will be defrocked and will be held accountable before God (rule 203 of the Nomocanon under the Great Book of Breviaries).
But there is another opinion of some priests. They believe that it is possible to baptize children of unbelieving parents, as if “for the future.” How is this? This refers to the credit of trust that is given to such a family at the time of the child’s baptism: “We are baptizing your child, and maybe then God will bring you to Himself and protect your child from all sorts of troubles.” And everything seems to be logical, but you must remember that baptism is a challenge to the devil, a challenge after which the child must be taught to fight evil. Baptism is the beginning of war, the issuance of weapons (gifts of the Holy Spirit). Of course, the Lord will support a person in this war, but only if the person is in unity with God. In the case of formal baptism without subsequent teaching of spiritual life, without maintaining unity with God, the child is simply handed over unarmed to the enemy of the human race. Preparation for this struggle falls on the shoulders of parents and godparents: this includes bringing and then preparing the child for the sacraments, and prayer in church, and daily and hourly feeding the child with the right spiritual attitude (upbringing).
Here are two things to remember about baptism. First, a person goes out to fight. And secondly, in baptism a person receives the gifts of the Holy Spirit, which need to be increased and not lost. The ideal situation is when godparents are found from the same spiritual family in which the parents live, that is, from the same parish. Because if people have unity of faith, if they pray together, then this is the most reliable basis for nurturing the soul of a child.
But let's return to the specific situation described in your question. If the child lives with his grandmother (as often happens when parents give the child to be raised by the grandmother, since they “don’t have enough time and energy for him”), then baptism is permissible. But if the grandmother lives separately and sometimes comes to babysit her grandson, then the situation is radically different. In this case, what is the influence of the grandmother on the spiritual atmosphere in the family? Is she capable of not only being a grandmother, but also making up for her parents’ lack of faith in her parents? Will it be possible for the godfather to participate in the upbringing? If he sometimes comes and says something about God or the commandments, will this have an effect if the child absorbs a different way of life? Will he survive the war with Satan?
For a small child, the godfather challenges Satan. He also brings baptismal vows for him, which at a conscious age the child must confirm (confirm that he is a faithful Christian). Can we say that the devil will fight precisely with the godfather until the child reaches a conscious age? And how close, after all, is the spiritual connection between godfather and godson?
If you allow me, in response I will quote the words of St. John Chrysostom. In one of his public conversations, the saint explains the role of the successor this way: “If you wish, let us turn our word to your successors, so that they too can see what reward they will receive if they show great zeal for you, and, on the contrary, what condemnation will follow them if they will fall into carelessness.
Think, beloved, about those who have accepted a guarantee for money, that they are in greater danger than the debtor who took the money. For if the debtor appears prudent, then the guarantor will lighten the burden; if he becomes unreasonable, then great danger will be in store for him. If those who have accepted the guarantee of money consider themselves responsible, then how much more those who are involved in the spiritual, those who have accepted the guarantee of virtue, should show great care, convincing, advising, correcting, showing fatherly love. And let them not think that what is happening does not matter to them, but let them know for sure that they too will become partakers of glory if with their instructions they lead those being taught to the path of virtue; and if they fall into idleness, there will be much condemnation for them. Now you, the recipients, have learned that you are in considerable danger if you fall into carelessness.”
So, with our Christian life we help our godson, but our corrupt life also corrupts the soul of the child entrusted to us, even if we do not suspect it.
And if, despite all the efforts of parents and godparents, the child, upon reaching conscious age, does not confirm his baptismal vows, but positions himself as an atheist or pagan, saying: “I was not asked if I wanted to be baptized!” In this case, is the responsibility removed from the godfather or, on the contrary, is it aggravated?
No one relieves the godfather or parents of responsibility for the child. But there is no need to despair and give up. After all, a person will answer to God after his death. Until that moment, there is always the opportunity to influence the situation. And we must not forget that the Lord looks not so much at the result as at the effort. To what extent did the godfather try to reason with his godson, how did he participate in his life, did he fervently pray for his child, did he strive to improve his life?
That is why the godfather must clearly and soberly assess his strength in the matter of the number of godchildren. How many godchildren can he really devote time to, take to church, communicate? In our country, people often perceive an invitation to godparents as a reward, as recognition of them as respectable Christians. This false position contains not just delusion and lack of awareness of responsibility, but also a huge amount of vanity: “That’s how good I am! This is the third time they’ve called me to be a godparent!” And such a person does not think that he will give an answer for each child...
So I say this, and I myself shudder internally, because I have many godchildren, whom I now don’t even know, and don’t see, and don’t communicate with. Only among our parishioners I have two godsons. At the same time, the priest automatically becomes a godparent for those children whose parents have not found godparents. That is, I probably have several thousand godchildren... and I will have to answer for everyone.
I sometimes ask people questions before baptism: “Why do you want to be baptized or baptize a child? What role does Christ play in your life? How do you feel about Him? Do you really want to live like a Christian?” People usually “freeze” somehow and cannot answer. Apparently, these questions did not even arise in their heads.
And there can be only one correct answer: “I have been looking for the Truth for a long time. And one day I opened the Gospel and learned the Truth, so I want to become a disciple of Christ.” All other motives are too vulgar to accept this Sacrament. After all, Christ did not come into the world so that we could “be lucky and have an easier life,” “so that a child’s hernia would resolve,” so that “no one could jinx us.” Baptism is immersion into the death of Christ in order to then be resurrected in Christ. If a person is ready to die for Christ, this is a serious motive, which, unfortunately, only a few have modern people who came to be baptized. Whereas in the first centuries of Christianity, people came to the font with just such motives, realizing that tomorrow they could be killed for Christ. I remind people of all this before baptism.
And what is the reaction? Has anyone ever thought about getting baptized?
The reaction is shock. But so far no one has changed their mind. People realize that they are completely unprepared for a new life, for a new responsibility, they do not leave... although this would be understandable, correct and honest.
Often potential godparents dissuade such “believers” from being baptized or baptizing their children, saying: “Why do you need this, because you will not live like a Christian. Understand responsibility." Are they doing the right thing?
Of course, this is correct, because faith and life with God can only be realized under conditions of awareness and freedom. If a person does not understand what he is doing, then he is already an incompetent person. Unfortunately, in our spiritual life there are many people who are incompetent. Therefore, it would be right if we call them to seriousness, because the Lord in the Gospel all the time calls a person to the seriousness of life: “Strait is the gate and narrow is the way that leads to life, and few find it”(Matt. 7:14)
Father, how can a godfather be responsible for a child in such a situation: until a certain moment, the parents were not against the church life of their child, they sometimes even brought him to Communion, they themselves did not go to church, but were “sympathizers from afar.” The child turned 7 years old, and it turned out that he was not given communion without confession. Parents, who do not want to enter church life or even hear about it, stop even occasionally bringing their child to church, answering the godfather’s bewilderment like this: “Everyone has their own path in life.”
One of the main tasks of a godfather is to educate the child’s parents and lead them to normal church life. And the potential godfather should think about this task “on the shore,” even before he became involved with this family through spiritual ties. To what extent can he influence the still unstable sympathetic consciousness of people, to what extent do his parents have confidence in him as a Christian? If we come to the conclusion that these are unrealistic tasks, that we are not capable of such relationships, then why actually be a hypocrite? Why pretend to be godparents and pretend to be Christians as parents?
Out of humanity, it can be difficult for us to refuse people’s requests to become godparents, or we are afraid of ruining relationships with friends. But this is not a basis for agreement. We must please God more than man. If parents are not initially ready to dedicate their child to Christ, if for them baptism is just a magical event, then why should a Christian participate in it? If I find myself in such a situation, I just have to accept it and say: “Sorry, brothers, but I don’t play such games.” The main conditions for baptism in relation to parents are agreement to obey and trust. And while the child is growing to a conscious age, it is necessary to bring the parents to spiritual consciousness.
But at the moment of baptism, the godparents themselves may not yet be churchgoers and only over time will they realize the significance of what happened and the fullness of responsibility...
That is, the person was stupid? What to do? First, you need to sincerely repent that you were extremely careless about God’s work. The Lord relied on you as His helper, but you did not fulfill the obedience given to you by God. And secondly, despite the fact that the paths of the godfather and the parents seem to have diverged, and the values are now different, a very important mission remains - prayer for the godson and his parents.
As a kind of penance, a person can bow to the ground every evening with the prayer: “Lord, forgive me, a sinner and careless one, You entrusted me with this youth, but I did not fulfill obedience. Save and have mercy on my godson, enlighten his parents too, guide them along the true path.” Another ugly situation also happens: parents join the church, but their child’s godfather continues to wander in unbelief. Then parents can take on penitential prayer work for their godfather.
Today, due to the fact that public conversations take place before baptism, some parents decide to take this Sacrament seriously. But it happens that a person who has just begun to join the church and wants to baptize a child simply does not yet have strong Orthodox friends in the faith. He is alone. Where can I get a godfather?
In your temple.
But he doesn’t know anyone there yet.
So we need to find out. This means you need to become a living parishioner of the parish family. Here, in the Panteleimon parish, it often happens like this: young families take a closer look at each other, begin to communicate closely, and then ask to become foster children for their children. And it seems that the person is not a relative or close friend, but later they become one spiritual family. And I would like to hope that in ten or twenty years they will still be friends and communicate, and their children will grow up like brothers and sisters.
Here is a natural situation: the godfather, the godson and his parents live in the same church, every Sunday the godfather brings his child to Holy Communion. I can’t even imagine how one can normally raise children outside the church community. It is no coincidence that St. Cyril of Alexandria said: “To whom the Church is not a mother, God is not a Father.” He who does not feed on the sacraments of the Church, who does not love her, will never be a Christian.
Let's look at this same situation through the eyes of a potential godfather. Let’s say I don’t know the person, we don’t communicate closely, and, to be honest, I don’t really want to take responsibility for the child. But the man asks... what should I do?
On the one hand, there is no need to immediately agree or refuse. We need to take a closer look at each other, go on a visit, chat. After all, this is a wonderful opportunity to find brothers in Christ. Many people today complain that they have a very small circle of friends and like-minded people. Here's a wonderful opportunity for you. And an even more wonderful opportunity is to part with your selfishness and laziness. What does it mean “you don’t really want to put something on yourself”? How is a Christian afraid to take responsibility? What if this is important both for people and for the salvation of your soul? After all, a Christian came into the world precisely to fulfill the will of God, to give himself to other people in work and life according to the Gospel commandments.
On the other hand, there is the church hierarchy and the wise rule of a virtuous life - life according to advice. Every Christian has a spiritual mentor, a priest, who will help you decide whether you have enough mental and physical strength to take on the responsibilities of a godfather.
If you refuse, it is not because out of false humility you consider yourself an “unworthy sinner,” but because your confessor, seeing your weaknesses, does not advise you to take up the work of your godfather. Together with your confessor, you need to weigh all the pros and cons, determine whether what is offered to you is God’s will or temptation - and then calmly do what you must do.
In the end, we are all “shackled by one chain, connected by one goal,” if one is saved, then everyone who is connected with him by belonging to the Body of Christ, to the Church, is saved.
There is a moment in the life of a parish when the vast majority of parishioners cannot contain their joyful smiles - this is the churching of children. When the priest offers to pray for the newly baptized child, he then takes him in his arms, carries him into the altar and, going out to the pulpit, solemnly lifts him up, showing all the parishioners our new child. When we observe churching, joy, peace, and love are born in our souls.
Yes, we do this for the children of our parishioners, because this is really our new child. We do not church children of parents who are not our parishioners in this way, because for them it is a formal rite devoid of meaning. They simply put themselves in a position “outside the family”, which they do not know and do not want to know. Another thing is parishioners who are already members of “our family.”
In this case, can we say that the community is the recipient of the baptized person?
This should be the norm. The parish is a family where everyone is connected with other members, where there is love, empathy, help, support, education, where everyone solves a common problem together, where joy is also common. In such a family a person will never be left alone. Saint Philaret of Moscow said: “Children forgotten by their parents during their upbringing mutually forget them after their upbringing.” Therefore, if we do not want to be forgotten by our children, we must do everything to become real parents ourselves.
Baptismal SUPERSTITIONS or what Orthodox Christians CANNOT BELIEVE:
- You cannot take as godparents people whose children you yourself baptized, “because the cross comes back, and this is very bad for your child.”
- For the first time, a girl cannot become godmother to a girl, but only to a boy, otherwise she will not get married for a long time, and then the marriage will be unhappy.
- You cannot name and baptize a child in honor of a martyr - life will be hard and painful.
- A child should definitely cry when he is lowered into holy water or water is poured on his face - this is a good sign.
- A pregnant woman cannot be the godmother of a child, otherwise the godson will die.
- You cannot refuse if you are offered to be godparents.
- The name under which a child is baptized must be hidden from everyone, “so that friends do not jinx it.”
- All the child’s sins automatically become the sins of his godparents
- You need to be baptized only on the 40th day after birth, as it is the most successful!
Interviewed by Ksenia Kabanova
Responsibilities of godparents and prayers for godchildren
(material from the site azbuka.ru)
Godparents have 3 main responsibilities towards their godchildren:
1. Prayer room. The godfather is obliged to pray for his godson, and also, as he grows up, to teach prayer so that the godson himself can communicate with God and ask Him for help in all his life circumstances.
2. Doctrinal. Teach your godson the basics of the Christian faith, and if you yourself are not knowledgeable enough, then first fill in the gaps yourself.
3. Moral. Using your own example, you must show your child human virtues - love, kindness, mercy, etc., so that the child grows up to be a truly good Christian.
You promised God that you would bring this baby to him. Remember this.
priest Mikhail Zazvonov
Prayer for children and godchildren, Father John (Krestyankin):
Sweetest Jesus! God of my heart! You gave me children according to the flesh, they are Yours according to your soul. You redeemed both my soul and theirs with Your priceless Blood. For the sake of Your Divine Blood, I beg You, my sweetest Savior, with Your grace touch the hearts of my children (names) and my godchildren (names), protect them with Your Divine fear, keep them from bad inclinations and habits, direct them to the bright path of life, truth and good. Decorate their lives with everything good and saving, arrange their fate as You yourself want and save their souls with their own destinies! Lord, God of our fathers! Give to my children (names) and godchildren (names) a right heart to keep Your commandments, Your revelations and Your statutes. And do it all! Amen.
On raising children to be good Christians:
Parents' prayer to the Lord God
God, our merciful and heavenly Father!
Have mercy on our children (names), for whom we humbly pray to You and whom we entrust to Your care and protection.
Put strong faith in them, teach them to revere You and deign them to deeply love You, our Creator and Savior.
Guide them, God, on the path of truth and goodness, so that they do everything for the glory of Your name.
Teach them to live piously and virtuously, to be good Christians and useful people.
Give them mental and physical health and success in their work.
Deliver them from the cunning wiles of the devil, from numerous temptations, from evil passions and from all wicked and disorderly people.
For the sake of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, through the prayers of His Most Pure Mother and all the saints, lead them to the quiet haven of Your eternal Kingdom, so that they, along with all the righteous, will always thank You with Your only begotten Son and Your life-giving Spirit.
Amen.
Prayer to the Lord God, compiled by St. Ambrose of Optina:
Lord, You are the only One who weighs everything, who is able to do everything, and who wants to save everyone and come to the mind of Truth. Enlighten my children (names) with the knowledge of Thy truth and Thy Holy will, strengthen them to walk according to Thy commandments and have mercy on me, a sinner.
Amen.
Merciful Lord, Jesus Christ, I entrust to You my children whom You have given to me, fulfill my prayer.
I ask You, Lord, save them in the ways that You Yourself know. Save them from vices, evil, pride, and let nothing that is contrary to You touch their souls. But grant them faith, love and hope for salvation, and may their life path be holy and blameless before God.
Bless them, Lord, may they strive every minute of their lives to fulfill Your Holy will, so that You, Lord, may always abide with them by Your Holy Spirit.
Lord, teach them to pray to You, so that prayer may be their support, joy in sorrow and consolation of their life, and so that we, their parents, may be saved by their prayer.
May Your angels always protect them.
May my children be sensitive to the grief of their neighbors, and may they fulfill Your commandment of love. And if they sin, then grant them, Lord, to bring repentance to You, and You, in Your ineffable mercy, forgive them.
When their earthly life ends, then take them to Your Heavenly Abodes, where let them lead with them other Your chosen servants.
Through the prayers of Your Most Pure Mother, Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary and Your saints (all holy families are listed), Lord, have mercy on us, as You are glorified with Your Beginningless Son and with Your Most Holy and Good and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages.
Amen.
Christening is a fateful event for every child and parents. This is the acquisition of spiritual peace, integrity of spirit, God's reliable protection of a person. In addition, the baby has second parents who are always ready to provide help and assistance. The responsibilities of a godmother are especially valuable in later life.
Godmother
Before agreeing to baptize a child, a woman must accept the great responsibility placed on her shoulders. It is important to understand what it means to be a godfather, and not to superficially follow the traditions of Orthodoxy. It is imperative to choose a suitable candidate with faith in your heart and full responsibility. This could be a relative or friend, not necessarily married, but a believer and an exemplary one. If she is not baptized, it is important to be baptized before the fateful day for the baby and be sure to receive communion.
Responsibilities of a Godmother
You should not conduct an interview or casting for the role of second parents. You just need to draw a conclusion about the attitude of the applicants towards God, the people around them and all living things. If the baby’s mother thinks that godparents should only buy a cross and a kryzhma, and then participate in the church sacrament, and that’s where participation in the fate of the new person ends, then she is very mistaken. Spiritual education and development of a child is what a godmother should be able to do throughout her life. In this case we are talking about the following responsibilities of godparents:
How many times can you be a godfather?
Every Orthodox person can take part in this church rite, an unlimited number of times, if the child’s parents request it. A truthful and informed decision is welcome. Another important question that worries us before the sacrament is who can be godparents, according to church scripture? All believing relatives and friends can take on responsibilities, for example, an older brother, sister, girlfriend, friend, grandfather, grandmother, even stepfather. Cannot be kerst:
- non-believers;
- church ministers;
- people of other faiths;
- unbaptized;
- mentally unstable people;
- biological parents.
Baptism of a child - rules for the godmother
The baptismal towel and clothes are made or purchased by the future godmother, and this is an obligatory stage of preparation for the upcoming sacrament. In addition, a woman must first receive communion and confession; on the day of christening, she must have a cross on her chest. There are other rules for baptizing a child in the Orthodox Church, which are important to include in the ritual.
Girl's christening - rules for the godmother
It is important for a girl to have a spiritual mother, since she is the first one, after the child’s mother and father, to be responsible for him. It is one thing to baptize a baby, and quite another to become a support, support, and spiritual mentor in life for a growing person. The responsibilities of the godmother at the baptism of a girl are as follows:
Boy's christening - rules for godmother
During the christening of a boy, an important role is played not only by the godmother, but also by the father, who in the future will provide him with spiritual support in everything. The main responsibilities of the godmother during the baptism of a boy are identical, as during the church ceremony of a girl. The only difference is the following: after immersion in the font, the baby is picked up by the godfather; The priest also carries baptized boys behind the altar.
Prayer for the baptism of a child for godparents
During the procession, the priest leaves a reminder of what the godparents should do: say out loud three times the prayer “Creed”, “Our Father”, “Hail to the Virgin Mary”, “Heavenly King”, answer honestly several traditional questions about faith. Each prayer for godparents at baptism gives a powerful energy charge and helps the child receive grace.
What do you give a girl at christening?
What should the godmother do after the completion of the sacrament? Buy and present your godson or goddaughter with a memorable gift. This is where the problem arises with choosing a suitable present. So what does the godmother give to a girl’s christening?
- silver or gold cross;
- icon of God;
- personal icon of the Guardian Angel;
- silver spoon.
What does the godmother buy for a boy's christening?
For future men, there are also certain requirements for gifts. This one needs to know what is needed for a boy’s christening, so as not to be taken by surprise during the sacrament. Here's what a second mom should do:
- buy a white vest, blanket, towel;
- present a Bible, a personal icon as a gift;
- make another memorable present.
What should a godmother do?
If a woman has her own children, nephews, younger brothers and sisters, she should not forget about her own godchildren. There are a number of beliefs and signs about why godparents are needed. This is what a godmother must do until the last day of her life:
Video: what godparents need to know before baptism
Being a godmother is a great honor, but also a great responsibility, because she has to become the spiritual mentor of her godson or goddaughter. If your loved ones have given you such an honor, it means they express special trust in you and hope that you will fulfill this role with dignity.
However, keep in mind that in addition to performing the duties of a godmother at baptism, you will later have to instruct your godson in matters of the Christian faith, take him to communion, and set an example of behavior for him.
As for preparing for baptism, this stage takes the godmother several days. What does the godmother do during baptism? What does she need to know about the ritual of this sacrament? We will answer these and some other questions.
According to the church charter, the godmother cannot be the child’s mother, a nun, an unbeliever or an unbaptized woman. Not only the mother’s friend, but also one of the relatives, for example, the baby’s grandmother or aunt, can act as a godmother. However, the adoptive mother cannot serve as a godmother either during or after the baptism.
How to prepare a godmother for the baptism ceremony
Preparations for baptism for the godmother begin several days before this ceremony. She, like her godfather, needs to fast for three days, and then confess and receive communion.
You also need to talk with the priest, who will tell you in detail what the godmother needs to know about this sacrament and what she will have to do during the baptismal ceremony.
As a rule, the duties of a godmother in preparation for baptism include knowing by heart some of the prayers that will need to be read during this ceremony: “Creed”, “Our Father”, “Hail to the Virgin Mary”, “Heavenly King”, etc.
They express the essence of faith, help to cleanse oneself from sin and gain strength to overcome obstacles on the path of life. Although in some parishes knowledge of these prayers is not required: during the ceremony, the godparents will only need to repeat some phrases after the priest.
The godmother's preparation for the baptismal ceremony does not end there. She will need to purchase the things necessary for this ceremony and know what actions she will have to perform during the ceremony. However, let's talk about everything in order.
What else does a godmother need to know about the rules for baptizing a child? You should dress modestly for a christening. You cannot come to the temple in trousers, and the skirt must be below the knees. Women's head Orthodox church must be covered with a scarf.
What should a godmother do during a baptism? The ritual consists of the rite of catechumen (reading special prayers over the child), his renunciation of Satan and union with Christ, as well as confession Orthodox faith. The godparents say the appropriate words for the baby on his behalf, renouncing the unclean spirit and promising to remain faithful to the Lord.
If a girl is being baptized, then the godmother should hold her in her arms during the baptism ceremony; if the ceremony is being performed by a boy, then the godfather. Although this can also be done by one of the godparents who is better acquainted with the baby and next to whom the child feels more comfortable.
However, in any case, the godmother must be well acquainted with the child in order to maintain emotional contact with the baby and be able to calm him down if he cries.
After this, as a child is baptized, immersing him three times in water in the font and reading prayers at the same time, the godmother must take him in her arms. To do this you will need a kryzhma - a white towel. According to superstitions, drops cannot be wiped off a baby’s face in order for his life to be happy.
Then the child is put on a cross (if it was not purchased in a church, it will need to be consecrated in advance) and a baptismal outfit - a shirt to the toes for a boy and a dress for a girl. The baby will also need a cap or scarf.
Even during preparation for baptism, the godmother is obliged to choose these things for the child. In the old days, women sewed them themselves, but nowadays baptismal attire and kryzhma can be bought in a store or church shop.
These things are not washed after christening and are not used for their intended purpose. It is recommended to keep them throughout a person’s life, as they serve as amulets, helping him avoid various troubles and diseases.
What else does a godmother need to do when baptizing a child? After initiation into the font, the godparents and the priest walk around the font three times with the baby as a sign of spiritual joy from the union of the new member. Christ Church with the Savior for eternal life.
After the ritual of anointing, when parts of the child’s body are anointed with myrrh and prayers are read, the priest washes the myrrh with a special sponge moistened with holy water.
Then the priest lightly trims the child’s hair on four sides, which is folded onto a wax cake and lowered into the font, which symbolizes submission to God and sacrifice in gratitude for the beginning of spiritual life.
(The godmother will need a small bag in which to place the baby's cut hair, which can then also be stored with the towel and shirt.)
After this, the priest reads prayers for the child and his godparents, followed by churching. The priest carries the baby around the temple. If it is a boy, then he is brought into the altar. At the end of the ritual, the child is applied to one of the icons of the Savior and to the icon of the Mother of God, and then given to the parents.
In addition to the things necessary for the ceremony, the godmother can give the baby an icon with the image of his patron saint, a “measured icon”, a children’s Bible, a prayer book or items that do not have a church focus (clothes, shoes, toys, etc.), and also assist his parents in organizing a festive feast on the occasion of the christening.
We have already told you what the godmother has to know and do during the baptism ceremony of the child. But your mission doesn't end there. As already mentioned, you will need to be involved in the life of your godson and beyond.
You will attend church with your child if his parents are unable to do so due to illness or absence. You will need to promote the spiritual growth of your godson, give him advice in difficult life situations. In a word, take care of him along with his parents, because now you are responsible for the new member of the Christian church before God.
