Here they intervene and social norms. In many fairy tales, Vasilisa always has the prefix “Beauty”. And in order to be the most important, most successful hero of a fairy tale, a man does not need to be either handsome or smart. Ivanushka the Fool usually impresses with his spontaneity and ability to see the world differently from the way educated or intelligent characters in the story see it.

In everyday life everything is exactly the same. Fairy tales only reflect what is in reality. It is common to think that a handsome man is a womanizer, that he is a scoundrel, incapable of lasting feelings. A man's appearance, as they say, should be a little prettier than a monkey. A beautiful women public opinion attributes more virtues and positive qualities. The business of many glossy magazines, which teach girls and women to be beautiful, is built on this immutable law.

And yet, handsome men can be more desirable and attractive for a girl. Beauty generally plays an important role in the first stages of a relationship. She is the one trigger mechanism the emergence of sympathy, which provokes a man and a woman to seek contact with each other.

Surely every man has at least once wondered whether a man’s appearance is important to a girl? There is no universal answer here and cannot be. Usually people consider beautiful those people who, firstly, are close to them in ethnic and national status. And secondly, we consider beautiful people who are similar to the people from our immediate environment. Psychologists have proven that there are only two features of male appearance that are universal for different cultures as criteria for beauty are height and muscle mass. All other features are strictly individual, or vary from country to country, from city to city.

Objective canons of beauty in every society, however, exist. It’s not for nothing that there is an expression “recognized handsome man.” True, it is usually supplemented with the phrase “in the whole class” or “in the whole city.” That is, a handsome man seems handsome to many representatives of the area where he lives. Moreover, such handsome men are extremely popular with the opposite sex. It is clear that in such a situation the question of whether the appearance of men is important for girls becomes purely rhetorical.

Still, there is a big difference between recognizing a man as handsome and wanting to have an affair with him yourself. As it turns out, both men and women who choose handsome men as partners have common feature character - they have consistently high self-esteem. The same guys or girls who are not confident in themselves, suffer from low self-esteem, all other things being equal, will choose someone who objectively does not seem beautiful to the majority.

For sympathy in a relationship to turn into a more serious feeling, beauty alone is not enough for either men or women. And especially for women. Men can tolerate a beautiful but empty person next to them longer. But women quickly break off relationships with empty-headed handsome men.

After the first euphoria of the beginning of a relationship, there comes a period when appearance fades into the background. Common interests come to the fore general settings on the perception of different life situations. The general background of a person’s mood becomes important at this stage. This is not yet the stage when you can show your partner melancholy, apathy or depression. A smile, friendliness and warmth of contact at the stage of transition from sympathy to mutual attraction become an important attribute of a successful relationship. At this stage, the man’s appearance still plays a role for the girl, although not the key one. So, from the very first days of the romance, you should not show yourself to each other in homely and unkempt clothes, in a bad mood or drunk.

Some specialists family relations There are four phases of love - sympathy, attractiveness or attraction, love, love. By and large, a man’s appearance is important for a girl only in the first two stages. And then even big lovers of cute faces can feel a real surge of feelings for their boyfriend, even if he is not very handsome, because the first stages of looking at each other have already been passed.

Is there a special portrait of the personality of a girl who cares about a man’s beauty? It is difficult to clearly define such a portrait. As already mentioned, a girl must have consistently high self-esteem. Another important trait may be the desire to appear more beautiful to others than she is. Many women have this desire. Psychologists know that even the ugliest girl next to a handsome man looks like a prom queen. People are at first a little surprised by his choice, and then they think that since he chose her, it means she’s worth it. So choosing a handsome man as a partner is great social capital for a woman. After all, then she herself seems much more attractive to others.

April 9, 2017, at 02:02

How important is a guy's appearance to a girl?

Let's imagine this picture: you are rushing about your business, and then a real sultry macho man of unwritten beauty walks past you. Do you think all the girls around will secretly, or without hesitation, scan him with their gaze? Undoubtedly, any girl will look after an attractive, charming guy. And there is nothing wrong with this, since this behavior is explained by the instincts inherent in us. That is, nature itself commands us at such moments. However, there is one “but” here - if girl looking for a lover, the likelihood that she will want to build with him serious relationship- small. In a global sense, for women, a man’s appearance does not play a big role.

Therefore, our advice to guys: if you do not have a luxurious, attractive appearance and do not change girls like gloves, do not be upset, by showing kindness and responsiveness to women, you can find your true love and create a strong family.

How important is a girl's appearance to a guy?

Unfortunately, men are more picky in this regard. To interest the guy you like, it is not enough to have positive qualities; you need to take care of your appearance, hygiene, figure, dress nicely, etc. For example, contrary to all the laws of nature, without having model external data, you managed to have serious dating. Don't rush to celebrate your victory with a cake and your favorite soda, because the spark that flared up between you and that guy can quickly go out. Alas, you will have to for a long time keep the fire of love alive. Do you have enough strength and nerves for such a feat?

Our advice to girls: never stop there, improve your body and spirit, this is the only way you can keep your loved one near you.

It is possible to find happiness without risk!

If you don’t want to take risks, wait a long time or work hard, fighting for a place in the sun, then you can go to dating site for adults without registration. Post your photo, and other users will evaluate your external data. Believe me, at least one person will definitely be interested in you.

“A man should be a little more handsome than a monkey” - this phrase can be heard anywhere. Women put intelligence, kindness, self-sufficiency, and good earnings in the first places in importance. Anything but appearance. Why is it easier and faster for a handsome man to get a woman?

What does male beauty consist of?

When assessing a man’s appearance, the first thing that catches your eye is his physique. A tall, slender and fit man will have a better chance of success than someone with a beer belly. At the same time, all women are different. What one doesn't like, someone else will like.

Hands play an important role in a man's attractiveness. It is difficult to describe what they should be, because neither jewelry nor cosmetic procedures affect their beauty. According to women, male hands should look so that when you look at them you get the impression: this person can bend a horseshoe and rock a child to sleep

A man's hairstyle is important. Balding doesn't suit everyone. But light gray hair beautifies a man, making him wiser and more experienced in the eyes of a woman.

Eyes are the mirror of the soul, so their attractiveness is influenced not by color or cut, but inner strength, confidence, intelligence. Extinct blank look won't attract a woman.

One of the indicators of male strength is the chin. It’s good if he is strong-willed and angular. Many women find a dimple on the chin sexy. But the shape of the nose and mouth does not affect male beauty in any way. Unless a snub nose or lips like a bow can make you smile.

A handsome man is a well-groomed man

Considering that natural characteristics are really not that important for a man’s attractiveness, we can conclude: the main thing in a man’s appearance is a well-groomed appearance. It is more pleasant for any person - from a woman whom you want to achieve, to a man’s manager whose job you want to get into - to communicate with a neat person.

Taking care of your appearance does not mean visiting beauty salons. Of course, it would be nice to get a professional men's manicure. But simply trimming your nails on time will be enough. Hand cream will relieve and make the skin soft.

Hair must be kept clean and do not neglect the services of a hairdresser. Facial hair also needs daily grooming or shaving.

It's a huge plus if a man smells nice. Good expensive perfume, deodorant and clean clothes will not leave people around you indifferent.

Finally, visit your dentist regularly and take care of your teeth. A charming smile is a powerful weapon that will help win over both women and other men.

Question for psychologists

My boyfriend and I are 21. The situation is extremely delicate, since early childhood I claimed that I would choose only the most handsome and intelligent man in the world, but the older I got, the more often I became convinced that these same handsome men were simply terribly proud and extremely selfish, and those who, despite their beauty, remained worthy men We were in a strong relationship almost from the cradle. Many people call me myself beautiful girl on the stream, which is very flattering, considering how low my self-esteem is, but the guys swore their love in droves, both beautiful, and smart, and kind, and rich, and poor, etc., but no one could go beyond the level of “sympathy”, but here, a person who studied next to him for several years, at some point could turn out to be almost the very best (kind, gentle, good feeling humor) and was able to see in me, besides my appearance, a whole world filled with books, music, creativity and more. With all his positive qualities, he has a big drawback: a narrow eye shape. He and I fell in love with each other and, if we forget about the many difficulties that await us in the future (my family is against exotic nationalities, and I myself am Georgian), I would be happy to live my whole life with him, but there is one big BUT: Because of my problematic childhood, I really, really don’t want my children to go through something similar. In Russia, not only dark-haired, but even with narrow eyes, it will be a living hell for kids! Girls will have complexes, boys will not be popular... Should I give free rein to my feelings and ruin the lives of my future children, or should I find a handsome guy, most likely a moral monster, and give birth to handsome children? Is it selfish, perhaps, to choose your happiness with a caring man in this case?

We received 5 pieces of advice – consultations from psychologists, to the question: Is a man’s appearance important?

Hello, Alina.

A child from an unloved man in a toxic family will suffer even more, and children of all nationalities experience bullying and nagging in adolescence. It is strange that you decided in advance their fate for your unborn children, found problems for them and determined the country in which they will live. All this may be your deep misconception. Nobody knows the future.

The Russians' dislike for dark-haired people is absolutely far-fetched. Russia has always been a multinational state and in different cities people have very different attitudes towards the appearance of other dissimilar or similar people. It seems to me that this depends more on the level of education and culture of the environment in which you will live and raise your children. Yes, there are very rude, narrow-minded and cruel people, and they exist in every country in the world, but there is also a normal healthy environment where people treat each other with tolerance and consideration.

Perhaps your personal psychological traumas prevent you from seeing the situation more broadly and you perceive and interpret individual words and events more painfully, into which people do not even attach the meaning that you or your loved ones discover.

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Hello, Alina! You have to pay for everything. By choosing a man with good looks, in most cases you are dooming yourself to play a male role in the family. For your handsome man, you will have to become the main breadwinner in the family and drag mammoths to the beautiful feet of your husband. And the husband can pick up and go to someone else at any time, because she gave him a cool Japanese motorcycle, and you could only give him an ordinary Lada Kalina.

It has been statistically proven that young people tend to create couples with people who are approximately equal to them in terms of external attractiveness. And this is just following fashion and cultural stereotypes. Such a choice does not bring any benefit for family happiness.

What then matters for family well-being? And for family well-being, it matters that your man was thrilled by the very sight of you, was lost, did not know what to say and felt like just a monster next to the beauty. What is important for a woman? And for her it is important that men be mammoth hunters for her and are eager to work for the good of the family.

And also regarding the beauty of potential offspring - children in kindergarten and school will be judged not by the beauty of their bodies, but by the high cost of the clothes they are wearing. This is our current world.

Wisdom to you, Alina!

I consult via Skype. Belova Lyubov, psychologist/psychotherapist

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Alina" The progress of your messages is interesting. It is worth noting that you are not alone in your doubts, I periodically encounter similar situations in my work. Let me send you my article, I invite you to my website, since I work as a psychologist-sexologist. Here everything is up to your personal perception, everyone chooses and decides for themselves. Some are lucky in this, some are not. Some are not very happy. Much also depends on beliefs regarding men. on my site. Good luck!

I love men of a certain appearance. Pros and cons. It is important to love yourself. Posted in Articles | November 13, 2013

I would like to tell you, as a psychotherapist who conducts trainings for women on choosing a future partner, that sometimes it is extremely important for a woman when her man has a certain appearance.

As an example, I will give the story of one girl for whom it was very important for a man to be handsome. It seems that this is not bad, but nevertheless, it significantly narrowed her choice, besides, she was already over 30, and a man of young age was not considered.

The first thing we came up with was insufficient self-love (the root of the problem), from which everything else came.

The beginning of this was the following story. When the client was 5 years old, her parents left and temporarily left the girl with her grandmother. She remembered herself standing on the platform and roaring after the departing train. Then she determined for herself: *they don’t love me*.

Later, this changed somewhat, because men began to come into the girl’s life. She began to realize that she was beautiful. And her conviction now said the following: “It’s better that they love me, and I, in order not to suffer, should not love myself,”

Let me note, as a practicing psychotherapist, I know many examples that women have these beliefs when they are closed from love. At first glance, someone will say: “not bad.” But try living with a man to whom you are initially indifferent, and then it will gradually turn into irritation. When just his touch and the feeling of *missed opportunities* can infuriate you. So, it’s worth thinking about whether you need such a belief.

Now about handsome men. The client said: “I love beautiful ones.” I ask: “is this good?” She, who at first thought it was good, began to delve into herself. And suddenly, completely unexpectedly, I turned 21. And she saw herself disheveled, with acne on her face, and decided that she did not have enough of her own beauty: “I will look for beauty in men.”

Now, when I pointed out to her the true meaning of this belief, she began to understand something for herself and reformulated it, suddenly realizing that: “I want something worthy for myself.” And her criteria for assessing a man’s appearance have changed. She stated the following: “The most important thing in appearance for me is a man who has a nose. I like it to stand out on the face (within reason), but it has to be there.”

Then - in terms of figure. She remembered her *exes*, and just acquaintances, and unknown men, making the following generalization: *it’s okay if there’s a little belly there*.

Now a few words about the man’s height. The client herself was short, and if before she only wanted a man from 180 cm and above, now she said: “Come on, let him be at least 173, my dad is short, but he’s a good husband.”

Later, we moved on to the topic: “it is important to love yourself.” She remembered when a tearful friend came running to her, who was going through her breakup with a man, and the client decided for herself: “Love is equal to suffering.” And now, having realized that there is absolutely no need to sympathize with my friend so much, and that everything will be different for her, she said: “I will be happy in a relationship.”

Then, she again remembered the departure of her parents, and her decision at that time: “I get pain, therefore, love is pain.” We re-sourced this situation, and it played out differently. The client saw her grandmother, who told her: “Yes, let’s go, well, where will they go - they’ll be back soon.” And she calmly went home with her grandmother, no longer crying.

After that, she reviewed all her previous unsuccessful relationships, and made a generalized conclusion about them: “I chose the wrong men, my approach to them was wrong. I must love my man and be loved."

She gave away the unlove that lived in her, filling herself with the value of love.

This is how you can solve 2 parallel problems; as it turned out later, they still intersect, despite the laws of mathematics.

Afanasyeva Liliya Veniaminovna, psychologist Moscow

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Hello. Alina. If you give birth to a handsome guy, but, as you say, a moral monster, then your children will probably be beautiful. But deeply unhappy. Since they will see their mother either divorced, or devastated, sick and completely weakened by family tyranny, which will also affect children. If your warm young man stops you, then at least we can conclude that such young people exist not only in your group, but, for example, with a frequency of one in twenty. And that means you can find a young man who does not contradict your principles, or stay with this one. You will always be happy in that

Some people are probably very familiar with old saying, which says: “Men love girls with their eyes, and their girls love them with their ears.” Undoubtedly, there is a grain of truth in these words, because sayings and proverbs do not simply appear over the centuries.

Everyday modern life, no matter how banal it may be, is built according to the same fairy-tale principles. Ordinary decent girls will never look for guys on the pages of glamorous publications, but will meet ordinary young men on the street or in transport. It is generally accepted that handsome men are always real professionals. When a man meets, there is immediately a complete distrust of him and a search for hidden intent in his actions.

It often turns out that many attractive men often suffer because of their appearance and are very modest by nature.

Exterior or inner world?

How much attention do girls pay? appearance men? There cannot and should not be a clear answer to this question. Almost everyone has their own ideal dear person, feelings for whom paint their own beautiful image of a lover. Most often, people consider beautiful and attractive those people who are close to them in spirit, similar to them internally and externally, those who have a common ethnic status with them.

It has been proven that in a man’s appearance, any woman is definitely attracted to his height (again, according to taste, for some - short, for others - tall) and muscle mass (and here too, to choose from).

If a girl has a choice between a stupid, narcissistic and rude handsome man and a modest, caring unsightly young man, she will most likely choose the second one, since it is more important for her to feel protected and confident next to a man, and not to be proud of his beauty, knowing that he is empty inside.

However, the most important thing to consider is that life will not have to be lived with beautiful cover, but with an honest, decent person, that it will be necessary to raise and educate children not with a tall athlete with a ripped face, but with a kind and responsible man. You need to listen to your heart, believe not in appearance, but in human actions and value with your soul. It doesn’t matter how many people around you will like your spouse in the future. Your friends may laugh at your choice, but you will know that the person who is next to you will never leave you or betray you.