Elena Terekhova

When is a memorial service for the deceased celebrated?

- this is a prayerful commemoration at which a funeral service is performed in the hope of God’s mercy and forgiveness of the sins of the deceased. Such services can be ordered on the third, ninth, fortieth day after death, on the birthday of the deceased.

If a memorial service is being held in a church, you need to place a candle on a candlestick, which looks like a board with holes for candles. It's called "eve". There is also a small cross there. Eve has its own meaning. It reminds us that all the dead can hope for the Kingdom of Heaven and shine with divine light like wax.

During a memorial service for the dead, candles are not placed on the eve of the week before Easter. Because at this time believers pay all their attention to the events of Christ before His crucifixion. After parting with the body, the soul spends some time in hell.

On the fortieth day, the Lord decides where she will stay. Therefore, if a soul died in lack of faith and without repentance, it needs the prayers of relatives. Until the fortieth day, we remember the deceased as newly deceased.

During the funeral prayer, the priest censes, the deacon pronounces the words, and the choir sings the requiem. When a person dies, his relatives sometimes have many questions about his funeral service. For example: “Can I order memorial service for the deceased, if he is a Catholic?”, “Is it possible to order a memorial service if the deceased is unbaptized?”, “What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral service?”, “Is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia for someone who died during the war if the place of his burial is not known? ", "Why do you need to bring food to the temple?"

All questions have answers. Non-Orthodox people can be commemorated in home prayer. But you cannot order a memorial service for them in the temple. The unbaptized are also not buried in the church, since they were not members of the Church, did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ, and did not partake of the mysteries of Christ.

If the deceased was buried without a funeral service, but he was baptized in Orthodox Church, then you need to come to the temple and order the funeral service in absentia, and also order the magpies.

Memorial services for the deceased, those killed in the war and unknown place those buried can be served in absentia if the person was baptized. And sprinkle the soil received after the funeral in a cross shape on any grave in the Orthodox cemetery.

Believers bring food to the temple so that the church ministers can remember the departed during the meal. This is alms, donations for the deceased. To have more prayer books for the dead, you can set a funeral table for the poor, homeless, and orphans.

Take it for yourself and tell your friends!

Commemoration of the dead in Orthodoxy

Commemoration of the dead is a special custom among Orthodox Christians. In Orthodoxy, the numbers 3, 9, 40 have sacred meaning, so these days are special for commemoration. By church traditions, after death, you need to remember the person in order to help the deceased find peace with your prayers. After leaving earthly life, the soul of the deceased is in search of its path to new life. She's looking for her new home in the other world. By remembering a person and praying for him, neighbors ease the fate of the deceased and help the soul find peace.

Funeral service for 9 days after death

In Orthodoxy, Christians have a tradition of honoring the memory of the deceased for nine days from the moment of departure. There are special customs for remembering the deceased, which are extremely important to observe, because these are traditions established over time. Adhering to these traditions and rituals is important not only from a religious point of view, but also for the peace of mind and balance of the family of the deceased.

Necessary funeral rituals for 9 days after death:

going to church;
performing a service (memorial service, lithium, funeral service, magpie);
reading a prayer (in church or at home);
visiting a grave;
funeral lunch.

Why do funerals last for 9 days?

The commemoration of the deceased is held for 9 days after death in honor of the nine angels who protect the soul of the deceased and ask the Almighty for its salvation. Following Orthodox tradition, the purpose of a memorial service is to help the deceased find his new home. The ninth day after a person’s departure is a very important period for family and friends. According to church customs, the transition of the soul of the deceased to the Kingdom of Heaven depends on them. With their prayers, relatives can help the soul of the deceased find peace.

Who is invited

Traditionally, nine days of wakes are considered uninvited. It is important that people come at will. Inviting or reminding about this date is not accepted in Orthodox traditions. However, in modern world often invited to funerals in order to plan and resolve organizational issues in advance. Sometimes the relatives of the deceased themselves casually remind about this event, thereby, without breaking traditions, they warn in advance about their arrival. If a large number of people are expected, then the memorial is held outside the home, for example, in a restaurant.

What's being cooked

The most common dish that is prepared for a funeral for 9 days is kutia: boiled wheat seeds, to which something sweet is added, for example, sugar or honey. Seeds are a symbol of life, and sugar or honey is the sweetness of life after death. Instead of kutya, you can prepare another porridge, for example, rice. It is customary to place compote or jelly on the funeral table for 9 days. Sometimes at funeral meals you can see pancakes, pies, various fish dishes, cutlets, and also borscht. According to Orthodox customs, the funeral meal should be without alcohol.

What to do for 9 days

Commemoration for 9 days after death is the day when the deceased is remembered and only good things are remembered about him. During this period, it is not customary to organize mourning gatherings or, conversely, to organize a joyful feast. It must pass quietly, and the family of the deceased must behave humbly. In addition, there are a large number of different customs that need to be taken into account.

Funeral customs 9 days:

There should be a slice of bread and a bowl of water at home from morning to night.
You need to light a candle or lamp next to the photograph of the deceased.
You need to visit the cemetery of the deceased, but you cannot arrange a funeral right in the middle of the cemetery.
The funeral meal should be modest, without excesses.
Food left over after a funeral meal should not be thrown away. The remaining food should be distributed to the poor and homeless people.
On this date, you need to give out alms, give lunches to the poor, and help those in need.

Prayer

Correctly commemorating the dead on the 9th day means praying for them. Despite the pain and bitterness of loss, you need to realize that prayer will help the deceased more than tears. It is important to let go of your loved one so that his soul can find peace in the afterlife. It is extremely necessary to pray for the mercy of the Almighty towards the deceased, because if they pray for the deceased, it means there is something good in him. Therefore, it is important to visit the temple and order a magpie for the departed. Before the funeral meal, it is extremely necessary to read the rite of lithium about the deceased.

How to count 9 days after death

According to Christian canons, commemoration on the 9th day after death - important event, so you need to correctly calculate the date on which it falls. In order to correctly count nine days, you need to start the report directly from the day the deceased left. The first day should be considered the day of death itself, and not the funeral. Nine days, inclusive, must be counted from the moment of death only if death occurred before midnight. If death occurs after midnight, then they begin to count from the next day inclusive.

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After death, a person is remembered on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day and last date is considered the most important, since the soul goes to the Judgment and its further destiny is decided. There are many traditions associated with this day that people observe to help the deceased person on this important day.

What does 40 days after death mean?

The fortieth day of commemoration of a deceased person is considered a certain line that separates earthly and eternal life. From a religious point of view, it is a more tragic date compared to physical death. 40 days after the funeral is a date that reminds people that the soul, after the end of earthly life, goes to its Heavenly Father. The funeral can be considered a kind of act of mercy.

Where is the soul of the deceased until 40 days?

Many people note that at first they feel the presence of a deceased person, which is manifested by smell, sighs, steps, and so on. This is due to the fact that for forty days the spirit does not leave the place where it lived.

For the first three days the soul is free and it remembers its entire earthly life. It is believed that during this time she is in places that are close. On the third day after death, a memorial service must be held.
After this there will be a meeting with God, the saints and a visit to heaven. From this moment, the first torment and fears begin that due to mistakes made, the entrance to heaven may be closed. All this lasts for six days, so on the ninth day a memorial service and wake are held.
At the next stage, ordeals begin, which represent trials and obstacles. The soul will not receive a decision whether it can spend eternal life in Heaven or Hell. During this period, a comparison of positive and negative actions occurs.
When figuring out what happens on day 40, it’s worth talking about the onset of important stage – Last Judgment, where the soul can no longer influence anything and only the lived life of the deceased is taken into account.

How to pray for the deceased for up to 40 days?

Remembering dead people is the duty of every believer. According to the church, you need to pray especially diligently during the first forty days after death. A prayer for 40 days to see off the soul can be said in church or at home. If a person chooses the second option, then it is recommended that women tie a scarf on their heads and light candles in front of the image of the Lord. Finding out the rules of 40 days after death and how to commemorate, it is worth noting that prayer during this period helps to gain faith in the soul and more easily cope with the loss loved one.

“Son of God, Lord Jesus Christ. Satisfy my heartfelt grief for the deceased slave (name of the deceased). Help me cope with this difficult loss, and give me strength to withstand the grief. And on the fortieth tribulation day, accept the soul of the deceased (name of the deceased) into the Kingdom of Heaven. And it will be so now, forever, forever and ever. Amen".

Is it possible to remember 40 days earlier?

Life is unpredictable and there is often no way to accomplish what you planned. The clergy say that if it is not possible to remember the deceased on the 40th day, it is not a tragedy or a sin, since this can be done in advance or even later. It is prohibited to reschedule commemoration at liturgy, memorial service and cemetery. Many people are still interested in how to count 40 days from the date of death, so the first day is the day of death itself, even if the death occurred late in the evening before midnight.

What is prepared for 40 days after death?

On this day, a memorial dinner is always held, the purpose of which is to remember the deceased and pray for his repose. It is important to remember that food is not the main thing, so there is no need to try to prepare a luxurious menu with a lot of delicacies. A funeral dinner for 40 days, the menu of which should take into account the rules of Christianity, implies adherence to several important principles:

On the table there should be kutia, which is made from millet or rice, and pancakes without filling. Each of these dishes has its own important sacred meaning, which helps to appreciate the frailty of existence.
For those who are interested in the topic - 40 days after death, how to remember, you need to know about the ancient tradition of baking pies with different fillings.
If the forties did not fall during Lent, then meat dishes are not prohibited, so you can serve cutlets, cabbage rolls, goulash as a side dish, and so on.
Various dishes are allowed, and these can be first and second courses.
You can put salads on the table that include lean ingredients in the recipe.
Understanding the traditions of 40 days after death and how to remember the deceased, it is worth mentioning that in many families it is customary to follow the tradition of cooking for a funeral dinner favorite dish deceased.
As for desserts, it is best to make cheesecakes, pies, cookies, and sweets are also allowed.

What do they take to the cemetery for 40 days?

According to traditions, on memorial days, people go to the cemetery to say goodbye to a loved one. You need to take flowers with you to the grave, of which there should be a pair, and a candle. With these objects, the living can express their respect to the deceased. You cannot talk loudly at the grave, have snacks, and especially drink alcohol. Another important point regarding what is brought to the cemetery for 40 days - as a treat for the deceased, you can take a plate of kutya from home and leave it at the grave.

What are they giving away for 40 days?

There are many traditions associated with memorial days. On the fortieth day, it is customary to distribute various treats to people so that they remember the deceased. In most cases, they give cookies, sweets and pastries. Customs for 40 days after death say that during the first forty days after death, it is necessary to distribute a person to needy people, asking them to pray for his soul. This tradition is not described in the Bible and is a personal decision for each individual.

Funeral service for 40 days – when to order?

On the fortieth day of commemoration of the deceased, you must definitely go to the temple, where you can pray and order a memorial service and magpie.

The most important prayer is said at the liturgy. During this, a bloodless sacrifice must be made to the Lord.
Seeing off the soul on the 40th day necessarily includes a memorial service and this ritual is served in front of a special table called the eve. Gifts are left there for the needs of the temple and in memory of the dead. If a memorial service is not scheduled on the day that falls, then a litany is held for the deceased.
Understanding the topic - 40 days after death, how to commemorate, it is necessary to say that it is important to order the magpie, which is carried out from the day of death until the 40th day. When the allotted time is over, the sorokoust can be repeated one more time. Longer memorial times can be ordered.

40 days after death - traditions and rituals

A huge number of customs have formed in Rus', many of which have survived to this day. There are various signs, which cannot be done until 40 days, but it is worth noting that many of them are fiction and the church does not confirm them. Among the well-known traditions are the following:

Since ancient times, for 40 days it is not recommended to carefully monitor your clothes and cut your hair, as this is considered a sign of disrespect for the memory of the deceased.
The table for a funeral dinner is set traditionally, but sharp cutlery, that is, knives and forks, is not used. Spoons are usually placed with their backs facing up.
Crumbs left on the table cannot be swept off the table and thrown away; they are collected and taken to the grave. This is how the living inform the deceased that a wake was taking place.
Many people are interested in the topic of what they bring to the funeral for 40 days, so there are no rules indicating such obligations, but it is not prohibited to take some home-cooked food with you, for example, pies or pancakes.
At night, it is customary to close windows and doors tightly, and one should not cry, as this can attract the soul of the deceased.
Many people leave a glass filled with vodka and covered with bread on the table or bedside table. If the liquid decreases, it means the soul is drinking it. Many people leave vodka at the grave, but this has nothing to do with Orthodox customs.

Why can’t you chew seeds for up to 40 days?

Over the years, various customs have emerged related to the commemoration of dead people, and some of them may seem strange to many. For example, there is a ban regarding the prohibition of chewing seeds for up to 40 days, since this can spit on the soul of a deceased person. There is another explanation for this sign, according to which those who violate this prohibition will have for a long time teeth hurt. The third interpretation of superstition concerns the fact that by clicking seeds you can attract evil spirits and devils.

Why are they giving away spoons for 40 days?

Since ancient times, there has been a custom of distributing wooden spoons with which people ate at funeral dinners. In the modern world, such cutlery is not used, so ordinary spoons are distributed. The sign is explained by the fact that when a person uses such a device, he involuntarily remembers the deceased. There is another strange superstition according to which utensils used for 40 days should not be given away. It is believed that she is a participant in the farewell ritual and if a person takes her home, he will bring misfortune and even death upon himself.

Signs for 40 days after death

There are many different superstitions associated with this date from the day of death, and among them we will highlight the most famous:

During this period, it is forbidden to clean the house and turn off the lights (you can leave a night light or candle).
It is not allowed to sleep for the allotted period in the place of the deceased.
From the moment of death until 40 days, it is necessary to cover all reflective surfaces in the house: mirrors, televisions, and so on. It is believed that a dead person can be reflected in them and take a living person with them.
When holding a wake for 40 days after death, it is necessary to allocate a place at the table for the deceased person, placing a plate and a glass for him, putting a piece of bread on top.
The widow must wear it on her head for the specified time; if this is not done, then she can incur damage to herself.
Every day you need to place a glass of water and a towel on the windowsill. This is important so that the soul can wash itself.

The death of a loved one is a great grief, but at the same time, many problems fall on the shoulders of relatives that need to be quickly resolved. To a large extent this concerns church burial rites.

What is a memorial service and when is it ordered?

Memorial Service – church service which is performed over the deceased, as well as on his birthdays and at funerals. After the soul leaves the body, it goes through many tests, so it simply needs the help of the church. It is believed that a memorial service helps the soul move more easily to another life.

Understanding what a memorial service in a church is, it is worth saying when it is best to order it:

On the third day after death, the soul comes to worship God, so it is recommended to order a memorial service on this day to support the soul. It is best to ask a priest to perform a service near the grave.
On the ninth and fortieth days, the soul also comes to God and the requiem service is worth repeating again.
It will be much easier for the soul to go through all the ordeals with the help of a memorial service.

How to order a memorial service in a church?

If you want to order a memorial service, you must first go to the church. There you need to agree with the priest about a memorial service, which can be read both in the church and at the grave. Even in the temple, you need to write a note with the names of people you want to mention during the service. You also need to know what to bring to the funeral service. When going to church to order a service, you need to take with you a certain set of products, which are left on the funeral table. They are a kind of alms given in honor of the deceased. You can put in the funeral service basket: various baked goods, cereals, fruits, vegetables, wine, eggs, butter, granulated sugar and sweets. Prohibited products include various sausages, meat and spoiled foods.

Throughout our worldly existence, our life is almost entirely in our own hands. God Almighty knows about our needs and requests long before we begin to ask for help from Heavenly Father. But nothing depends on a person who, by coincidence of circumstances or by the will of the Almighty Father, passed away from this life. Even though a relative or friend has passed away, our duty is to pray sincerely with unshakable faith. Prayer can work miracles both in this world and in the Kingdom of God. As the Holy Scripture says, “For the Father in heaven so loved the world that he gave his Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16.” In order to bring eternal life closer in the Kingdom of God, we simply must remember and pray for the departed, so prayer can propitiate the Lord God, so that he forgives sins and sends down the grace of eternal life.

What is a memorial service, and how necessary is it?

Clergymen, in addition to standard and daily prayers funeral commemorations are performed for those who died during daily services. The Panikhida is also considered such a funeral commemoration. During the funeral service, the clergy, together with the parishioners, praying sincerely and with all their hearts, ask the Creator for forgiveness of sins and eternal life for the dead.
According to Church teachings, the human soul, having left the lifeless body forever, goes through a difficult path before appearing before God. Souls suffer immensely, due to remorse and unforgiven sins, and are in great need of help. A memorial service, which is one big prayer for the soul of the deceased, facilitates the difficult and painful transition to another world. Everyone who has at least once attended a memorial service has felt extraordinary bliss and calmness that penetrates every cell of the body, and the chant pacifies and calms the most anxious heart. The lost soul of the deceased experiences exactly the same sensations.

When to order a funeral service

It is customary to order a memorial service at the request of parishioners before the burial of the deceased on the third, ninth and, of course, fortieth day after death, as well as on the name day and birthday of the deceased. The clergy hold a memorial service on Radonitsa, before cheese week, on three Saturdays of Lent and other days.
The highest clergy understands perfectly well that in the hustle and bustle of everyday life it is not always possible to personally get into the temple and order this or that action. Therefore, a decision was made that will greatly simplify the ordering of religious services, regardless of the occasion for which a divine service needs to be ordered; a unique opportunity has appeared to order almost all types online. Using the World Wide Web, you can order a memorial service online, which in no case and not one hundredth will differ from the memorial service that was ordered in person.

In God's House with a pure heart and an open soul.

God is love. Prayer during a memorial service for the deceased is the only help that we can provide to the deceased. How much pure heart In the process of ordering a memorial service and the service itself, only the Lord God will refuse requests for the remission of sins of the deceased.
And finally, a few words about when and why you cannot order a memorial service.
Under no circumstances should any services be ordered for the unbaptized; this rule also applies to funeral services.