Joseph Fanelli

Psychotherapist, teacher specializing in sexuality and relationships.

1. Speak without speaking

Even before you strike up a conversation with a guy, your body will tell him a lot. And the first thing he will notice is how physically attractive you are.

It's not just about beauty. If you are fit and well built, then you are able to give birth to healthy offspring.

Another important aspect is whether you show interest. Of course, you don’t need to hang yourself around your neck, but it’s very desirable to subtly hint that a man has a chance.

This can be shown using two tricks. First, blink more often, because we naturally begin to do this when we are excited. Secondly, lean a little towards the interlocutor: this is also a non-verbal signal of interest.

We like people with whom we have a lot in common. Therefore, your task is to find common ground with the guy you like. For example, you can agree on a love of music or, if there are few common interests, try to get into what he likes.

At the beginning of dating, the easiest way to show similarity is to use the chameleon effect.

Try to take the same posture as a man, imitate his movements and gestures, use the words and phrases that he includes in his speech.

Being an exact and synchronous copy is not worth it: it's too obvious. Try to anticipate the movements of the interlocutor or, in general, repeat them after a few seconds.

3. Stay visible

The more we see a person, the more we like him. This is confirmed by science. In one study Proximity and Peership: Bases of Balance in Interpersonal Attraction residents of a student dormitory were asked to rate their attitude towards their neighbors. It turned out that boys and girls liked those who lived nearby more: adjoining rooms or on the next floor.

IN ordinary life this means that if you and the guy attend the same place (university, courses, gym), then you have a better chance of liking him.

6. Make him a fan of hugs

When hugging, the body releases oxytocin, which enhances the feeling of closeness. So hug the guy you are interested in at a meeting and parting, during joyful moments and just like that.

7. Find what makes you happy

Ultimately, it all boils down to interesting people interesting to be together. So do not waste time to lure someone into your networks, but look for. Happiness and passion are attractive in themselves. Become the one who radiates them.

First of all, if you want to please a girl, think about whether you like yourself, or how you treat yourself, with respect or not. If you do not love yourself, then those around you will definitely feel it, at the subconscious level.

Also remember, girls don't like men who pretend to be "tough" guys. It is very important to behave naturally, command respect and be a pleasant conversationalist.

What to do to please women?

To attract into your life worthy woman, you need to pay attention to the basic rules that, from the point of view of psychology, will help you in this matter.

Can't fit all

To understand how to please a girl correctly, it should be understood that any woman is, first of all, a person who is distinguished by her individuality and uniqueness. You should not treat her as a primitive creature that can be lured into your trap. beautiful words and expensive things.

Also, it is worth understanding that each young lady has her own ideal of a man, and you may simply not be to her taste. Imagine yourself in the place of the object of attention, from the female side: you are given signs of attention by a young lady who is not to your taste, or simply unpleasant to you. As a result, no matter how hard she tries, except for irritation, you will have no other feelings. Therefore, if you like a girl, you need to try several times to win her heart, and in case of failure, do not despair and do not label yourself as a loser. Try to communicate with other women you like, and you will find exactly the one that will become your soulmate.

You have an interesting life

A beautiful and self-sufficient girl is unlikely to like boyfriends who cannot connect two phrases, or annoying fans who will bombard her with compliments, flowers, call and write messages for days. Therefore, you should have your own interesting and varied life, so that the lady she likes understands that you are not a bore, but a person striving for self-development. Do what you like: game on musical instruments, gym, exhibitions, visits to trainings, foreign languages etc. When you meet a girl with such a set of hobbies, she will see in you a self-sufficient and ambitious man who is not looking for casual connections. Without a doubt, a girl will like such an enthusiastic guy and will interest her.

Even if everything in your life is very neglected, boring and monotonous, let this rule serve as an incentive to bring it to a new, better level.

Appearance

Again, imagine a beautiful "lady" approaching you, but with greasy hair, dirty shoes, garlic breath. In addition, she had not taken a shower for several days. Do you want to communicate with her?

Therefore, if you like a girl: beautiful, slender and well-groomed - you must match her, with your appearance. Your clothes must be clean and ironed, and shoes in perfect condition. Do not neglect going to the hairdresser and dentist. Brush your teeth, take a shower more often, use men's perfumes. The scent of freshness should come from a man, not the smell of mountain goat musk.

Take the initiative

Many guys ask: how to please a girl who doesn't like you? What did you do to please? Most guys wait and dream that the girl will be the first to pay attention to them, and at that moment they will reciprocate. You can wait for this moment all your life, or until your chosen one is taken away by another man, since the psychology of a woman is designed in such a way that her heart must be won. Therefore, you should not hesitate and wait for a miracle. We need to quickly take matters into our own hands. To please a girl, or at least try to do so, take the initiative, take the first step, start at least doing something: give a compliment, present a pleasant surprise, invite her for a cup of tea, after school or work (if she is a colleague), invite her to the theater or cinema. In fact, there are a lot of reasons to be alone with the object of sympathy, and it is simply impossible to list all of them.

Remember, girls just love proactive guys who control the situation and take everything into their own hands.

First date - what to do?

When you met a young lady, or took the initiative to a familiar young lady, for example, at work, and at the same time, having agreed with her about a meeting, the question inevitably arises: how to please a girl on a first date? Although this is a broad topic that requires separate discussion, the following recommendations can be drawn from it:

• The first thing to do is to choose a quiet and cozy place for meeting. Ideally, this is a cafe-tea house, with a small number of visitors and soft music. Otherwise, both of you will look stupid if you sit silently all evening, listening to deafening music. Also, do not make an appointment in a karaoke bar, it will distract the lady's attention from you.
• Be prepared for the fact that the young lady, at first, will take the position of an observer and will study you. Therefore, watch your speech and manners. You must speak without using obscene words, calmly and without unnecessary gestures. For some reason, some guys act very funny, thinking that if they start to goon and gesticulate with spread fingers, then it looks “cool”. Do not do that. The lady will think that you are not too smart, and the date will fail. The main thing that a guy needs to remember on a first date is that he makes the best possible impression on the object of sympathy. The main sign that you are interested in a young lady, and she is ready to continue getting to know you, is the moment when she begins to talk about herself willingly. If the guy is indifferent to her, then she will answer questions superficially, without going into details.
• Show interest in her person. People enthusiastically tell a pleasant interlocutor about themselves if he asks them about it. Such is the psychology of a person, he seeks to please his opponent. Ask the girl what you really might be interested in. Such a move can help out if you don’t know what to talk about and what to do next. But, it will look strange if you yawn while listening to the answer to your question. As a last resort, you can change the subject at any time. It is very important to be a good listener and let the lady talk. To please women, you don’t have to act like an owl, listening to a monologue, without blinking and without emotions. Nod your head occasionally, smile, agree, and don't interrupt.
• Monologue or dialogue? Don't forget to talk about yourself too. For example, to talk about your hobbies, select the moment when the lady completed the sentence and insert your own: “And I snowboard, rollerblade, go to a club or cinema with friends, go in for sports ...” Some of this will interest the young lady, and you will smoothly switch to talking about you. Sometimes you don't have to wait to be asked. There should be a dialogue, as a result of which, the woman will have a certain opinion about you that can affect your future relationship.

How to behave after a pleasant tea party? Be sure to pay for the order yourself. It is hardly possible to please a lady if you follow the "American" tradition, when everyone pays for himself. On a walk, after a cafe or other meeting place, behave in the same way, restrained and decent. Be sure to take the girl to the very entrance, tell her how pleasant it was for you to communicate with her, and a couple more compliments - with this, your chosen one will like you even more. The date should end on a positive note.

It’s very disappointing if you try to please a guy, but he doesn’t seem to see you point-blank. You may have chosen the wrong strategy, but it's not too late to find another way to a man's heart. We will analyze in detail how to communicate with a guy in order to please him for sure.

Secrets of communication of a successful girl: we place accents

If you are one hundred percent sure that this young man is really the same prince on a white horse, then the desire to capture his attention is quite normal. Don't be discouraged if a man doesn't notice you. This is temporary. You will definitely achieve your goal if you understand what to do to please a guy. There are 5 important aspects in communication with the stronger sex, which are worth paying attention to.

Self-esteem

No wonder they say: "You will not love yourself, no one will love." You can talk about self-esteem for a very long time, but finding the reason for dislike for yourself can be more difficult than meeting a soul mate. So don't dig deep. Better think about how you look if you don't like yourself:

1. An extinct look into nowhere and a gloomy expression on his face.
2. A blouse that has seen a lot, and permanent sneakers as an attribute of a busy and always tired woman.
3. No makeup or just hastily tinted eyelashes.
4. A stooped back and a soldier's gait.

Surely at least something from this list you noted. Think for yourself, can such a girl like you?

To change your appearance, and with it your dreary aura, do some work. She is quite painstaking, but you are trying for yourself. So what can you do to boost your self-esteem? Add a healthy dose of selfishness to your everyday life, and you will magically transform, and men will throw admiring glances at you. How to behave to please a guy:

1. Spend enough time on outer beauty. Let the household chores wait. Go shopping, freshen up your wardrobe and make-up bag. Please yourself, and a blush will already flash on your cheeks.
2. Every morning, talk to your reflection in the mirror and repeat: “I am the most successful, beautiful and interesting girl on the ground. I'm irresistible."
3. Follow your posture. The most beautiful lady on the planet should walk with a proud gait and not spoil her wonderful back by stooping.
4. Try to smile more often. A charming smile is one of the most attractive features of the fair sex.

These recommendations will increase self-esteem, but not immediately, but only after some time. Your energy message is subconsciously read by men - both bad and good. Therefore, it is important to develop the habit of loving yourself and your body. Confident girls are attractive and admirable in men, regardless of natural data.

Appearance

Many girls do not know how to please a guy on a first date: what to wear, how to put on make-up. This is not surprising, because the appearance is an important component of success with the opposite sex. No matter how excellent the character and good disposition of the girl may be, if she does not take care of herself at all, then her positive qualities are difficult to discern. Appearance contains several components: figure, make-up and clothes. Let's talk about each of them separately:

1. Figure. 90-60-90 is an outdated criterion. Now they are talking more and more about the inner world, so the figure fades into the background, but not the last. You don't have to be skinny to the bone for a guy to like you. But it is recommended even for plump ladies to keep exciting female curves in good shape. Do not let yourself go: take care of your health, eat healthy food and do the exercises. Then your figure will remain proportional and feminine at any weight.
2. Makeup. Putting on makeup like Marilyn Manson and expecting a guy to like you on the first date is weird to say the least. Light make-up and naturalness are in trend. But the complete absence of makeup on her face can indicate that the girl is too lazy to put herself in order. Therefore, the golden mean in everyday makeup is The best decision. Give your face freshness and emphasize the dignity, then you will look attractive and get the heart of any guy.
3. Wardrobe. A short skirt and cleavage are by no means the only options for how to dress to please a guy. Vulgarly dressed girls attract mostly frivolous men. If you're in the mood for a long romance, don't let yourself be fooled. Choose clothes with taste and fashion trends. Have basics in your wardrobe and mix them with interesting accessories that emphasize individuality.

Common interests

One of the main ways to please a guy at least at 14, at least at 30, is to have a common topic of conversation with him. Joint hobbies will be a great occasion for communication. Experienced women will easily start a conversation, knowing about the hobby of the alleged gentleman. A man is always pleased when his interests are shared, and achievements are especially praised.

If, for example, a guy is fond of computer hardware, it is worth evaluating his technical abilities. Try asking him for help. If the plan succeeds, admire his knowledge and thank him heartily. Men love to feel needed and useful to helpless ladies.

If you know that a young man you like is fond of sports, you can ask to give you a couple of lessons. He will certainly help with pleasure, feeling like an authority.

Use knowledge about the guy's interests and a little imagination. This will help to easily establish contact with him, and the further development of relations is in your hands. But what if you don’t know a man, but really like him? After all, nothing is known about his hobbies and hobbies. How to find out about interests unknown guy and use this to please him:

1. Social networks as a source of information about a person. Carefully study the page of the young man you like, photos, audio and video recordings. Comment on posts that appeal to you with enthusiasm. Let the guy understand that you are in the subject and want to continue the conversation.
2. Mutual friends will tell the necessary information. If there are, find out as much as you can from them about the guy. Do it carefully, ask not too interested. Otherwise, the young man will find out ahead of time about your sympathy, which will not play into your hands.
3. Surveillance. You can find out at least some of the places where a guy spends time by temporarily turning into a detective. Look at his phone when he listens to music, remember the track. Find out which establishments he visits by eavesdropping on his conversation. Let's say he goes to the gym, then for further possible communication, you can simply sign up there. There will be common interests and new opportunities to strike up a conversation.

Sense of humor

When a young man sunk into the soul, it is difficult to restrain the excitement when communicating with him. Therefore, girls often have a lame sense of humor, and a guy gets the wrong first impression. How not to communicate with a guy to like him:

1. Using jokes below the belt is the lot of ill-mannered girls.
2. Accompany a sparkling joke with thunderous laughter.
3. Use foul language in conversation, even in a humorous way.
4. Accompany a cute guy passing by with flat jokes like: “Hey, handsome, but your ass is fine!”.

With the help of subtle and appropriate jokes, you can attract a potential boyfriend. Connect female charm and be self-confident. How to impress a guy using a sense of humor:

1. During jokes, try to flirt with him: wink, smile, lightly touch with your hand.
2. Laugh when he jokes: young man it's flattering.
3. It’s worth joking when he is in a good mood - then the humor will really come in.
4. Combine subtle jokes with compliments: “Oh, something made me dizzy, probably because someone is insanely cute standing next to me ...”.

If you're unsure about a particular joke, it's best not to say anything at all. At stake possible relationship so it's not worth the risk.

When feelings overwhelm and are about to break out, you probably want to become closer with a handsome young man, even for a moment. You can make a knight's move and suddenly hug the guy in a comic form so that he likes it. If it's cold outside, and you're walking in a common company, go up to him and say something like: "Come on, let's hug, you're the warmest looking here." And hug him for a couple of seconds. We hope that you do not need to explain in detail how to hug a guy so that he likes it: tightly, passionately, while looking into his eyes. Most likely, the joke will succeed, and the young man will laugh. And if he reacts dryly, go to someone else and repeat the action. So you smooth awkward situation and retreat on time.

Correspondence

Even in simple correspondence, you can get the attention of a man if you know the secrets of seduction. First of all, you need to enlist his contacts: find a number or add as a friend on a page on social networks. The second option is preferable, since the man will immediately understand who he is dealing with. Before deciding on a dialogue, draw up an action plan and take into account all the possible nuances that will be discussed now. So, how to chat with a guy to please him:

1. Choose an adequate time of day: early morning, workday and late night are failing options. In the morning, most people are out of sorts, so your message may not have the desired effect. During the day, everyone is busy at work or study, but late at night is a time for rest. perfect time to start correspondence is the evening when a man is not very busy, resting and ready to communicate.
2. Do not use banal phrases, but do without frills. "Hi, how are you?" - hackneyed and does not contain intrigue. And “your mother doesn’t need a daughter-in-law” is alarming with her pressure. “Hello, I'm Lena, I recently noticed your beautiful smile and accidentally stumbled upon you here. I could not resist and wrote a message. Do you mind continuing the conversation?" - here in one message you introduce yourself, say a compliment and take the initiative. Guys love specifics.
3. When ensuing correspondence, do not answer in monosyllables. Diversify your speech, and a man will want to answer you again and again. First impressions are important, so don't be boring. Ask questions so that an awkward pause is not created: “I love fantastic action movies, and what kind of films do you like?”.
4. Talk about neutral topics. Do not touch in the first correspondence intimacy, salary, number of ex girls. You should not invade a person’s comfort zone until the right opportunity presents itself. Everything has its time.

What to do to please a guy? It's just right to correspond with him. Be tactful and original, and you will be able to interest a young man you like.

What turns guys off in girls?

Each guy has individual preferences when choosing a girl. But the fair sex has common flaws that repel men the most:

• easy accessibility and depraved behavior;
• taking large doses of alcoholic beverages;
• commercialism;
• intellectual mediocrity;
• talk about ex-boyfriends;
• excessive jealousy;
• lies;
• uncultured manly behavior;
• selfishness;
• fixation on appearance;
• inability to cook and unwillingness to learn it;
• untidy appearance.

At first glance, the list seems to be quite large. But on the other hand, such selectivity suggests that guys are mostly looking for a serious relationship, and this is what we need.

Often girls do not know how a guy will like if he likes another. In fact, if there is only slight flirting between a man you like and another lady, it is not so difficult to switch attention to yourself. Just take a look at our previous recommendations and you're good to go. But if the guy has a really serious relationship, then you definitely shouldn’t try to destroy them. As folk wisdom says, you cannot build happiness on someone else's misfortune.

We hope that your undertakings in the struggle for the heart of a handsome prince will be crowned with success. Keep the brand, be yourself, and then you will succeed!

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In a relationship between a man and a woman, a man should be the initiator and win the girl's heart. But very often it happens that a girl chooses exactly the one who had absolutely no plans to conquer her. In this case, some ladies spend sad lonely evenings, comforting themselves with the hope that their chosen one will take the initiative first, some themselves begin to storm the fortress, and some draw his attention to themselves unobtrusively, thereby giving the man the feeling that he chose her. .

So how do you get attention?

1. First you need to know at least a little the object of your adoration. Perhaps colleagues, friends or friends can help with this. social media. The main thing at this point is to act carefully so as not to draw the attention of others to the interest shown.

2. The next step is appearance. No matter how trite it may sound, but a man loves with his eyes. It is for this reason that it is necessary to look at 100. But this does not mean that you need to choose a shorter skirt, do brighter makeup and wear all the trinkets that are in the house. Attention, of course, can be attracted in this way, but you should not hope for anything other than one night.

The best option would be to emphasize your dignity with the help of clothes and light makeup. Natural beauty, lightness and sophistication will draw attention to the created image.

3. Based on the first point, you need to find common ground. It can be anything a love of live music, theatre, books, movies or any kind of sports. The main thing is to find something in common that you can talk about for hours. For men, it is really important that they can share their interests with their companion.

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4. In pursuit of male attention do not completely dissolve in the object of dreams and forget about yourself. In addition to the desired man, there is also his own life, his own interests. The main thing here is not to cross the line and remain a self-sufficient person worthy of respect (since stupid fans are of little interest to anyone).

5. Inaccessibility should be adhered to not only in clothing, but also in relation to the young man. Loose behavior can and will attract attention, but only until the moment when the man gets what he wants. After that, his interest will disappear very quickly, since he was based only on the satisfaction of carnal desires, and not on something more spiritual. Many people know the saying "forbidden fruit is always sweet." It is worth becoming this forbidden fruit. Having achieved which a man will appreciate, since a lot of time and effort was spent on conquering this peak.

But do not forget that everything is good in moderation and too constrained and closed behavior can scare him away.

6. Many people know that monotony gets bored sooner or later. That is why it is worth showing different sides of yourself, but not entirely, but only opening the curtain to the unknown. This will set fire to a man's interest and will maintain for a long time.

Summing up, it should be concluded that in order to please a man, much is not needed. All you need to do is look good and be yourself. Invest not only in your relationship, but also in yourself. Paying attention to both appearance and inner world. Develop and be worthy to be on a par with him, and not trail behind.

How to please a man? - video